Life in the AZ
by Wooden Tulips
Summary: B's trying to get by in the AZ, the After Zombies, and runs into a guy who could help her through it. They've got a destination in mind, but will they make it? M for language and a lime or two...
1. Chapter 1: Rednecks

Tali: Hey all! I decided to try something new: a zombie story! Yes, it's odd. Yes, the chapters are short. But, on the upside, they're all written. The entire story is around 60k words and I broke it up into a ridiculous number of chapters to keep some of the cliff hangers that came out naturally. I wrote it as my own story, so I'm going back and Twilighting it. Please forgive stuff I miss in the flipflop.

Let me know what you think!

***

Zombie movies were shit, pure and simple. They got so much of the reality wrong. For one thing, zombies are fast fuckers. You practically have to be a track and field star to get away from some of them. That or really fucking lucky.

For another, they talk. There's nothing creepier than a little kid zombie, let me tell you. That little kid voice asking for help suckers lots of people in. Thankfully, there's not many of those. Little kids don't have enough meat on them to last long enough to become zeds. The adults are still pretty bad. They're very persuasive and they are very good at coaxing you into stupid shit. You have to really focus on ignoring them or they can talk you into just about anything.

They're also pretty smart. Well, at least as smart as they were before they became the walking talking undead. It's not like they gain any kind of super intelligence or anything after they turn. They retain what they had before, except with, you know, an uncontrollable blood lust. Or brain lust. They want to eat you.

One advantage movies got wrong is they're blind. They can't see worth shit, which you'd think would be huge. Just stand still and they'll walk right past you, right? Wrong. They've got crazy good hearing and sense of smell. To survive, it's best if you don't bathe often. Gross, but there you go.

I had been 16 when the first zed's started making their appearance. The only reason I was alive now was because I'd snuck out with my boyfriend and a bunch of our high school friends to drink and smoke and party at the quarry. I know, I know, how cliché. What the fuck ever. It kept me alive. When I got home, my parents and siblings were dead. Dead dead, not zed dead. At least I was saved the horror of having to kill my own family. I packed up a bag of shit and got the hell out of there. Just because the zeds had been there didn't mean they wouldn't come back.

Our small group traveled together for a while, learning some tricks along the way. Among them was the odor thing. The first to go in our group were the other girls who insisted on bathing as often as possible. It's hard to stay clean when fighting off zeds on a daily basis and since it was getting colder, I wasn't terribly inclined to strip down to my birthday suit and bathe in cold water. Amazingly, the water systems were still working in a lot of places that the electricity had cut off. Being a tomboy really turned out to be an advantage for me. The vain bitches with their body sprays and scented soaps always attracted zeds and they went down pretty quickly. I wasn't too upset by that. I hadn't liked any of them that much anyway. They were more my boyfriend's friends than mine.

Our group's habit became to find a place, create some kind of stronghold base of operations, and hole up there until we ran out of supplies. My favorite had to be Wal-Marts. Sure, they took a long ass time to lock down, but once they were, they were epic. Lots of books, cd players with batteries and music, sometimes even portable DVD players. Plus, clean clothes, occasionally showers (when it was warm enough) blankets, pillows, and enough first aid shit to restock our packs. We found a van that we kept stocked with shit we could trade when we needed something we couldn't get and we always made sure to stock it up before we headed out again. Wal-Marts were great because in the Southwest, where we lived, they sold guns and ammunition.

We moved around, not really having any end destination in mind, for a few years. Our numbers started around ten and by the time I turned 18, it was down to four, three guys and me. I never felt scared around them, never felt threatened in any way. Not until the last time I saw them.

We were somewhere in what used to be known as Phoenix, Arizona and were desperately in need of some gas. Siphoning would only get you so much and fuel was a high priced commodity. It was hot and I remembered wondering why the hell anyone would live here. Surely anywhere was cooler, away from the heat and bustle of a city. In spite of the heat, though, I was wearing my black cargo pants and a leather jacket, zipped up, with leather gloves. It was better if not much skin was exposed. I might melt into a puddle on the pavement, but I wouldn't get bitten.

"How much longer do we wait?" asked Ben anxiously, looking around from his position next to me on the hood of the van.

"Until 2, dickweed," I yawned.

He shoved me lightly, nearly knocking me off the hood. "I know that, what time is it now?"

I lifted my wrist and pushed my sleeve up a bit. "Almost that." I pulled myself up into a sitting position and looked around me. The heat was rising off the hot pavement in shimmering waves and my hair was sticking to the back of my neck. It was time for another haircut. I picked at my nails and wondered idly if there was a battery operated shaver somewhere nearby we could use.

"Hey."

I looked up then and felt a wave of relief wash over me. Mike and Eric were making their way back across the pavement towards us. The relief was short lived when I saw that there were several large men behind them. Large men with guns.

I slid off the hood of the van and automatically twisted my hair up tightly, securing it with the last clip I had. I'd have to stock up next time we hit a Wal-Mart. Ben was standing next to me, tensed and balanced on the balls of his feet. We didn't often run into other survivors but we all had a bit of a sixth sense about them. These fuckers were no good.

Mike and Eric nodded to us as they stopped in front of the van. They held up two large gas cans each.

"We had to barter," muttered Mike. "They're here to collect their goods."

"Sure. What is it?" I moved towards the back of the van automatically, ready to pull out the liquor and bullets, the most frequently sought items. "Jack? Jim? Johnny?"

"That's not really their style," Eric said, rubbing the back of his neck evasively. "They pretty much run Phoenix so they've got all the alcohol they need."

"So...bullets?"

He shook his head again, not looking at me. I frowned. "You gave them food? Shit, Eric, we're nearly out as it is."

"They don't need food, either. They've got everything they need."

I turned to look at Mike then. He wouldn't meet my eyes either. "So we gave them something they want." He nodded. "What?" I felt sick at my stomach before he even opened his mouth.

"We gave them you."

I stared at him, horrified. "Me."

He nodded. "The majority of the women and children have moved onto the ranches outside of Phoenix. It's safer there. These guys are basically here to collect supplies. It takes a while because of how many stores and buildings there are to go through. They haven't been...with women...in a while."

I took a step back from the guys. "You sold me for gasoline."

"You always said nothing was off limits," Mike finally looked me in the eye then, pleading with me.

"I didn't think you'd sell ME," I spat back. "Fuck, Mike, you say you love me."

"I do," he looked pained. "Fuck, if I was their taste, I'd volunteer, but I'm not. If they wanted to fuck dudes, they'd fuck each other."

I looked past him at the group of men who'd escorted them in. "And if I refuse?"

Mike and Eric exchanged a glance. "Then they kill us, rape and kill you, and take everything we've got."

"Fuck."

I kept looking past them towards the group. "Just those five?"

"No, I think the whole group. I don't really know, though. Maybe they'll have a lottery?"

I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. "You sold me into a gang bang for some fucking gasoline. What if they kill me anyway? Did you assholes think of that?"

They shifted uncomfortably. "No," Eric said softly. "We have to trust sometimes."

"And these fuckers scream reliable and trustworthy?" I demanded. "How do you know they won't just kill us all anyway? Shit." My anger and terror and horror were all starting to clash and cause a headache.

"Guys, what's going on? These hicks are starting to make me nervous." Ben looked over his shoulder anxiously.

"I'm what was bartered," I said dully.

Ben stared at me, then Eric and Mike in shock. "Are you out of your fucking minds?"

"It's all we had that they wanted."

"Why was she even mentioned?" he demanded. "I know we said nothing was off limits, but I figured you dumb fucks wouldn't throw her out there."

"They asked how many of us there were and we made the mistake of telling them we had a woman traveling with us. After that, nothing we offered was even interesting to them. All they want is her."

Mike looked at me, pleading with me to understand. I did, in a way. Rarely did anyone take the time to have sex anymore, at least no one we'd met. You lost too much awareness of your surroundings and there was virtually no privacy anywhere for anyone. Mike and I would sneak off once in a while, careful about using our stash of condoms. Occasionally we'd find a settlement of some kind and condoms were in high demand there. No one ever thought to raid the prophylactic section of a pharmacy or store, but we had. Ovulation tests, condoms, foam, whatever they sold to prevent pregnancy, we had and it was almost as highly coveted as gas, water, and bullets were, especially in settlements.

"We can take these guys out, seriously," Ben was saying in a low voice. "There's what, five of them and four of us? We can do this."

"There's more hanging back in case we get stupid and try anything," muttered Eric. "We'll be dead before the first guy hits the ground."

I took a deep breath and straightened my spine. "Fine. I'll go. But we're through after this, Mike. You don't fucking look at me or touch me or even think about me. Next settlement we get to, we're parting ways." I shot a look at Eric. "Same goes for you."

They both looked guilty and hurt...depressed even. And so they should. Fuckers. I pulled Ben into a tight hug.

"Stay safe," I whispered. "I'll come back as soon as I can, ok?"

He nodded. "How long do we wait?"

I shook my head, my temples throbbing. "I have no idea."

He kissed my forehead firmly, holding his lips in place longer than was necessary. "Be safe."

I nodded and pulled back, heading to the van and rummaging around until I found the box with the condoms in it. I stared at it for a long moment before taking it and turning around. I didn't look at Mike or Eric as I walked past them and towards my current renters. That's what I had to view them as to get through this: men who were renting my body.

I crossed the hot pavement, my bravado wavering with every step. The men were even more horrifying up close. Deliverance had probably used them as an example.

"I hear you've requested my presence for the evening."

The man in front licked his lips, looking me up and down. It was all I could do to stand there and not run screaming or throw up. "For a while, yeah."

"No, for the evening. I have a couple of conditions."

He raised a bushy eyebrow at me. "Conditions? Whores don't get conditions."

"I'm not a whore," I countered. "If I were, you'd be paying a fuckton more for me than you are."

A slow smile crossed his face. "Feisty."

"I'll comply. That means no screaming, no fighting, no trying to get away as long as you follow my conditions."

"What are these fancy conditions?" demanded one man, shifting slightly.

"No anal."

They all started guffawing. I wasn't sure if they were really amused or just laughing at the word anal and the images it brought up.

"Also, everyone wears a condom. I don't want to get some skeezy disease or pregnant." I held up the box.

"Anything else?" asked the spokesman sarcastically.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Not at the moment."

The last time I saw my friends was when I started walking away with the men. I glanced over my shoulder just once, a look of reassurance that we would be together again, before everything changed irrevocably.


	2. Chapter 2: Strangers are Safer than Zeds

Tali: Since the entire thing's written and the chapters are relatively short, I'll likely post them a lot faster than I would normally. Plus, I love hearing from everyone. Feed my ego! lol

***

It turned out I was right. The rednecks killed the guys. They at least had the decency to do it away from me, but it didn't change things. I was taking a bathroom break between suitors and saw the van parked outside. I stared at it in horror, noticing the blood smears on the side that hadn't been there before. I watched through the tiny window as they unloaded everything, all of our belongings that we'd struggled so hard for. I waited until everyone was sleeping or distracted and then I dressed and left. Nothing they could do to me would be worse than what had already been done.

It wasn't safe traveling after dark, especially not on foot. The zeds could hide easier in the dark but I didn't feel like I had any other choice. It was either stay with the rednecks and allow them to subject me to who knew what else for who knew how long or get the fuck out and take my chances with zeds.

I hugged myself tightly as I walked, refusing to think about what had happened in the last 24 hours. In the AZ, After Zombies, you learned not to get too attached to people and today was a perfect example of why: they could either turn on you or be taken away in a moment. I was lucky enough to have both.

It was still hot, even as late as it was, and before too long I was sweating. I was sorely tempted to take off my jacket but refrained for the time being. I didn't have a weapon yet so I needed to have my hands free for any zeds I might stumble on.

The rednecks had marked giant red exes on doors of the buildings they'd already raided so I avoided those, knowing that they would likely be trashed, the scent of humans luring the zeds. Plus, there'd be nothing there for me. I walked for hours, following the signs on the highway just anxious to get away from the tall buildings and all the concrete. My stomach growled as the sun came up but I kept going, looking around myself carefully.

It was getting hotter the higher the sun got and there were also fewer red exes. I finally stopped around noon, crawling over a fence into a gated community. This could either be really smart or really stupid. Either the zeds were kept out or kept in.

I carefully crept across the once manicured lawns that now resembled small jungles towards the first house, a gaudy colonial style home with a porch swing hanging on one chain, the seat rotted through. I felt my heart rate pick up as I carefully picked my head up and peeked through a window.

The inside was decorated nicely enough, a thick layer of dust over everything. I didn't see any trace of looters or people in general. I straightened up and carefully circled the house. Still nothing. The backyard had a rusty swing set and the skeleton of a dog chained to a doghouse. I sighed, a little sad that the people hadn't had the decency to set the dog free to give it a chance before they deserted it.

I rubbed a clean spot on the window in the back and peeked in at a gourmet kitchen. I'll bet they had plenty of shit I could use. I froze, however, when I saw a pair of legs showing from behind a kitchen island.

My heart rate picked up even more and my palms started to sweat. I swallowed hard and crept around to a window where I could see better. It was a woman, or it used to be. All that was left now was a mummy wearing clothes. The dust around her was undisturbed but it still unnerved me.

I stared at her for a full five minute before deciding that it might be worth the risk. I moved back to the back door and reached out, trying the handle. To my relief and consternation, the door opened.

I stepped inside, my heart hammering in my chest so loudly I was sure anyone or any_thing _nearby would hear it. I looked around the kitchen and saw a conveniently located broom. It was flimsy, sure, but it would do in a pinch. If I was lucky, someone in this house was into sports. I was lethal with a baseball bat.

As hungry as I was, it was more important that I secure the house first. I crept quietly from room to room in the massive building, clearing every room quickly. There were a couple of other skeletons but nothing living. It had all long since rotted away. I didn't find a baseball bat, but I did find a hockey mask and a cricket bat. Interesting combo, but I'd take it. I grabbed a backpack out of what looked like a teenage boy's room and headed back to the kitchen. First things first. I'd eat, then I'd hole up in a room and sleep for a little while and figure out my next move.

I held the bat tightly as I made my way back towards the kitchen. I was parched so the first thing I went for was the bottled water. Rich people always had bottled water. These rich people had gallon sized jugs. I dragged a couple upstairs before finding some canned meats, vegetables and soups and grabbing a can opener. Nothing was bloated or rusty, so I felt pretty safe to eat them though they were some past their expiration dates.

I barricaded myself into the master bedroom, dragging a large dresser over in front of the door after double checking under the bed and in the bathroom and closets. I sat on the floor and enjoyed my little meal, sighing with contentment as I ate Vienna sausages. I used to hate these things but now, they weren't too bad. I would have loved some crackers or something but this was good, too.

I drank some water and then crawled into the bed to sleep, fully clothed, my bat at hand. You never knew what was going to happen.

I woke up hours later, completely disoriented. I didn't usually sleep that deeply or that long but it felt nice to sleep, content in the knowledge that for now, I was safe. I stretched, groaning as sore muscles were stretched to the point of aching. I rolled out of the bed and made my over to the window. The sun was starting its trek across the sky, so now was a good time to start walking.

I ate another meal of Vienna sausages and canned veggies washed down with some water before dragging the dresser out of the way. I pulled my bag back on and grabbed the bat and the mask and made my way back downstairs.

Everything was silent, just like before. I pulled the mask on anyway as I crept around nervously. I found some car keys and felt a grin spread across my face before I realized with no electricity, I'd be hard pressed to get the car out of the garage and then out of the gated community. I sighed and left the keys where they were. I put as much in my bag as I could reasonably carry and set out through the back door, leaving things pretty much as I'd found them.

I shimmied over the fence again and set out down the road, avoiding the interstate this time. There was no telling how far the rednecks would go in their search for me. It was dangerous to walk alone in the first place; walking down city streets was bad, too. I made my way quickly through the neighborhoods, following signs to a state highway. It was getting late and the sweat was starting to trickle down my spine when I finally reached the highway. I climbed up in a tree to eat lunch, sipping soup straight from the can as I scanned the horizon through the branches.

I froze when I saw an RV moving towards me. It couldn't be more than a mile off. I clutched the can of soup tightly, my heart hammering in my chest. I watched as it got closer, kicking up dirt behind it. I quickly stuffed my things back in my bag and climbed a little higher in the tree awkwardly holding onto my bat and letting the can of soup fall to the ground below the tree.

I watched, my heart in my throat, as the RV got closer. It slowed down as it came over the hill and finally stopped beside my tree. My heart was pounding so hard I was convinced someone would hear it but I didn't dare to move. I heard a car door open and slam shut then the sound of boots on the gritty pavement.

"You look like you could use a ride."

I didn't move or make a sound, holding my breath. He didn't sound like a redneck.

"I know you're up there. I saw you from a ways back. The metal reflected the sun. Plus, tree leaves don't move that way on their own and there's no wind."

I silently cursed my can opener but refused to say anything aloud. Who knew what kind of person this guy was.

"Look," he sighed "I know I'm a stranger and all that shit, but there's a shitton of zeds heading this way and you know they can climb. You've got to decide who you want to take your chances with: fifty of them, or one of me."

"How do I know you're not lying about the zeds?"

"Just look over that hill and you'll see them in a bit. I'll wait in the car." I heard the crunching footsteps moving away from the tree and the door opening and closing again. This guy had to have some kind of super eyesight to see me from so far off. I watched the direction he'd come from and sure enough, saw the cloud of dust signaling something coming towards me. There were only two things that could be coming this way from that direction: rednecks and zeds. I decided to take my chances with the stranger.

I dropped my bag to the ground and dropped down behind it, landing on my feet as gracefully as I'd ever be, scooping it up and moving quickly towards the RV. I could see now that there was a small mini-van being towed behind it. I opened the door and swung in, turning to see my rescuer.

He wasn't that old, probably mid twenties, with a shock of longish dark reddish hair and bright blue eyes. He offered me a friendly smile.

"Edward."

"B."

"Just B?"

I nodded. "Just B."

"Ok then. Where are you headed?"

I sighed. "Anywhere but here."

"Hey, me too." He put the RV in drive and started off down the road.

Neither of us talked for the next few hundred miles and I even managed to doze a little. He finally pulled to a stop in front of a Wal-Mart. I looked at him warily, one eyebrow raised.

"We're stopping?"

"We're stopping. I need to restock some shit."

"Now? It's nearly dark."

He shrugged and stood up from his seat, making his way into the back of the RV. I turned then and saw it was filled with boxes and piles of stuff. I could see canned goods, bottles of water, clothing, toiletries, medicines, weapons, pretty much anything you might need to survive an apocalypse. I watched with interest as he pulled on some sports padding and a football helmet, grabbing an aluminum bat in one hand and a shotgun in the other.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just wait until morning?" I asked nervously.

"It might, but I plan on spending tomorrow getting as much gas as I can from those pumps." He motioned to the abandoned gas pumps back near the road.

"You want me to come with you? I'm pretty good with a bat."

"Sure." He motioned to a pile of pads beside him. I crawled into the back and started suiting up. I pulled them on quickly, feeling restricted somewhat but not really caring that much. Safety first. He handed me a helmet and I pulled it on and nodded. "Let's do this."

He grinned and swung out of the van, shutting and locking the door behind us. We walked up to the doors, prying them open and making sure they closed behind us. My heart was pounding in my chest and I paused.

"Hey Edward…why don't we drive in here? Like, bring the Bago in?"

He paused for a moment and studied me. "You know, I never thought about that before. Next time."

I nodded and we each grabbed a cart, setting off on a weird shopping/looting journey. We were both as quiet as we could be, making a bee-line for the beverage aisle and stocking up on whatever bottled water was left. I grabbed some powdered drink mixes and tossed them into my cart as we then made our way towards the pharmacy section. I watched in fascination as Edward just arm swept everything into his cart, shelf by shelf.

"You really take everything?"

He nodded. "This shit is gold in some places. You never know who's going to need what."

I held up some Vagisil medicated wipes and he grinned. "Some women are still getting yeast infections, so yeah."

I laughed and copied him, gathering everything I could: toothpaste, tooth brushes, razors and shaving cream, anything and everything that was in the pharmacy section. Our carts filled quickly and we took them out to empty and then returned to refill them. It was getting darker now so we moved with a greater sense of urgency.

We were going back for our third load when we heard their voices. Soft, wheedling, coaxing.

"I can smell you. You smell so good…so ripe."

My heart was hammering in my chest and I looked around wildly. Edward held up one hand, motioning pointlessly for silence. We looked around us, our grips tightening on our weapons. We couldn't see them in the dusk and that was incredibly dangerous. They could be anywhere, waiting until it was really and truly dark.

Edward waved his arm from the elbow to catch my attention. My eyes snapped to him and my heart was pounding. He made a fist then released it, all five fingers splayed for a moment before he pointed to the RV. I nodded and he slowly put the fingers down one by one. We started making our way towards the RV then, the soft soothing voice still talking.

"You know it'll just be easier this way," it was saying. "Don't try to run away, you'll just get tired before you die."

Edward slid the key as quietly into the lock as he could, twisting his wrist twice to unlock both doors and pulling his door open seemingly in one movement. I wrenched it open, hurting my shoulder in the process, and threw myself into the passenger seat, barely clearing my feet before slamming the door shut behind me and locking it. A split second later a bloody ashen face was pressed against the window, nail-less fingers clawing at the glass and leaving bloody smears.

"Drive," I gasped.

Edward nodded and fumbled with the keys, finally getting them in the ignition and pulling away. I watched in the last light of day as the zeds that had found us chased us. One jumped onto the minivan we were towing and started to crawl along the top of it.

"We've got a cling-on," I announced, my voice sounding much firmer than I felt.

He nodded. "Buckle in."

I quickly pulled the seatbelt around me and fastened it, grabbing on to the handle as he started to swerve on the road. A few of the zeds had finally given up and weren't chasing anymore. It wasn't that they were tired. Zeds didn't get tired. They just managed to lose a foot or something. It was hard to run with only one foot and the rotting flesh of a zed didn't really stay together that well after a few months. The life span of a zed was actually pretty short, if you could just stay out of their reach. I kept my eyes glued to the side mirror as best I could through the gore spread across the window.

"Anything yet?"

I shook my head. "Nothing on this side, though we did lose a couple."

He nodded, his jaw clenched. He tightened his grip on the steering wheel and increased his speed and his swerving. I was a little nervous about the minivan snapping off the trailer hitch.

I had a sudden flashback to high school, a bunch of kids crammed into a car and driving up and down "the strip" on Fridays and Saturdays, laughing and talking and singing to music, eating and driving recklessly. We used to call this kind of driving "Batman driving."

All of those kids were dead now. One way or the other.

I shook myself slightly and returned my focus to the mirror, sighing with relief when I finally saw a body flying off the top of the RV. I was a little alarmed he'd made it as far as he had but at least he was gone now.

"He's off." I watched as the other zeds diverted their path towards their fallen comrade. All they'd heard was a body hitting the ground. It would take them a bit to figure out it wasn't one they wanted to eat and by then, we'd be long gone.

We sat in tense silence as Edward continued to drive faster than was safe, though now he was traveling a straight line. His knuckles were white and his jaw was still clenched.

"We can slow down now," I offered after about thirty minutes.

He nodded and gradually slowed down, finally pulling into a small gas station on the side of the highway. It was surrounded by a whole lotta nothin'. I felt simultaneously safe and exposed.

"We'll camp here for the night," he announced, putting the RV in park and killing the engine. He unbuckled and stood up, moving into the back of the RV. I followed him and started to pull off the sports gear as he did the same. "We'll need to organize the shit," he muttered, motioning to the boxes that were now sprawled all over the cabin area.

I nodded and stowed our protective gear in the cab and turned to help. He flipped on the lights and pushed up his sleeves before squatting and beginning to go through the items.

We worked in silence, organizing by type of item: food, pharmacy, water. Everything had a place to go. The cabinets in the small galley were stuffed full of cans of food and bottles of water, the stove was full of water, and the cabinets in the small bedroom in the back were full of the pharmaceuticals that had been carefully organized. The small storage area under the dining table was crammed with camping and fishing supplies and even what looked like a tent or two. Every available storage area was crammed with stuff. I raised my eyebrows at the fact that half of the small bedroom was piled high with clothing.

"Clothes?"

He nodded. "You don't ever change your clothes?"

I shrugged. "Once in a while, sure, but it's easier if everything smells the same."

He nodded and started to clear off the half of the bed that was covered. The floor on either side was already piled high, creating a veritable tunnel for sleeping. I opened the bathroom door and peeked inside, grinning when I saw the shower was stuffed with toiletries. There were mountains of toilet paper surrounding the toilet.

"You look really prepared," I commented, shutting the door and turning to him.

He grinned and nodded. "It makes surviving some easier if you've got shit you need or shit other people want so you can trade for what you need."

He motioned to the bed. "Do you want to sleep in shifts?"

"How do you usually do it?"

"I'm usually alone so I sleep with a gun beside me."

"Oh." I shifted from foot to foot, nervous. With the guys, we'd always slept in shifts, piled together for warmth and comfort. I didn't know this guy. I'd only met him a few hours ago.

"I promise I won't bite," he said finally. "I've gone this long without sex, I can control myself. I don't promise not to wake up with a boner, but that's going to happen if you're there or not."

I laughed softly and took a deep breath. "Ok. We can sleep together, weapons close by."

"Of course."

We crawled onto the tiny bed fully clothed, not even taking our shoes off, and adjusted ourselves to get comfortable. It was awkward until Edward suddenly wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me against his chest. I stiffened.

"Sorry, but it'll just be more comfortable this way. If it isn't, just push me away. I'll behave."

I nodded and relaxed a little. The temperature was warm with all our clothes on but I hadn't touched skin to skin with anyone in a while, not until the rednecks, and I really wasn't interested in revisiting those memories.

It took a while, but we both finally drifted off to sleep, secure in the safety of our locked Bago and deserted location. It wasn't a deep restful sleep, but it was sleep of a kind.


	3. Chapter 3: Showering

I woke up as the light in the Bago started to get brighter, squinting against the sunbeam that had somehow made its way through a pile of clothes and right onto my face. I was pressed against Edward's chest, his arms around my body and his leg thrown over mine. His face was nestled against my neck, his breath hot against my skin. His body positioning was protective, but his face pressed against me like that was reminiscent of a child looking for comfort.

I waited for a moment, waiting for the panic to well up in my chest like I'd heard most rape victims felt when in similar situations, but nothing happened. Something about this strange man was comforting, even as he snuffled softly against my collarbone, his face screwed up in what looked like fear or anger. I hesitantly moved my hand and started to stroke his hair. It was greasy and gross and desperately in need of a wash, but it was a soothing gesture, the only thing I could offer him at the moment.

The creases on his face relaxed and his skin was smooth again, apart from the heavy beard growth he was sporting. The snuffling ceased and he was silent, breathing hotly on my skin.

That was something else zombie movies got wrong and it had bugged me even then: shaving. In zombie movies, even ones that supposedly take place ages after the infestation or whatever, everyone has perfectly flawless smooth skin. As in they shave. The women have hairless armpits and legs and the men have little facial hair. In reality, I could probably pass for a Wookie and Edward definitely had a beard. Nearly every guy did so I didn't really notice them anymore. His was neater than most, so he likely shaved or trimmed it occasionally. Damn movies, setting up unreasonable expectations. It was a lot less likely you'd have sex with a stranger or someone you'd just met, regardless of chemistry, if you hadn't shaved in a couple years. Of course, he or she hadn't either, so they couldn't judge, but we still all had that ideal of smooth legs and jaws from before.

I was trying to remember the last time I shaved when Edward rolled over, releasing his grip on me, and sat up. He sat for a moment, bleary eyed, scrubbing his face with his hands before running them through his hair.

"You sleep ok?" he finally rasped.

I nodded and sat up beside him. "As well as can be expected."

He nodded and stared towards the front of Bago. "I need to pee."

I grinned. "Me too. Do you use the bathroom here?"

He shook his head. "Only for shit. Peeing is fast so I typically just pee on the side of the road."

I nodded and scooted off the edge of the bed. "Then let's get to it so we can check the pumps for fuel."

He followed behind me, both of us gripping weapons tightly. We looked out all of the windows, scanning the horizon for any sign of zeds or rednecks.

"I don't see anything," I said finally, my voice low.

"Me either." He hefted his bat in his hand, clearly thinking.

"Why don't we take turns," I offered. "I'll keep watch while you pee, then vice versa."

That seemed to relax him some and he nodded. "Ladies first."

I grabbed a roll of toilet paper from the bathroom and cautiously stepped out of the Bago. It was already hot and I started to sweat almost immediately. I leapt off the last step, getting some distance between me and the Bago before I bent down to look underneath. I didn't see anything and nodded to Edward. He climbed down and we locked the door again before setting off in opposite directions to circle the Bago and minivan to check for other zeds.

We met on the other side and sighed in relief, before I noticed the dried gore on the minivan. "Maybe up top?"

He grimaced and nodded. We could easily see there was nothing on top of the minivan so he climbed carefully onto it and peered at the top of the Bago.

"I can't tell from this angle," he muttered in frustration, dropping to the ground beside me. He squeezed between the two vehicles and started climbing the ladder on the back of the Bago. My heart was hammering in my chest as I scanned the horizon again, looking for any sign of anything.

"Clear."

I nodded, my heart returning somewhat to normal as he dropped down beside me again. He looked around a moment before coughing awkwardly. "Um, if you want to squat behind the van, I promise not to look."

"Right." I nodded, blushing slightly. The guys had always given me privacy but when you're with someone for so long, it just happens that you occasionally see each other's fun bits. I moved behind the minivan, setting the toilet paper on the little ledge the bumper created and carefully undoing my pants and pushing them down to my knees. I braced my arms against the bumper and held myself in a semi-sitting position while I peed. It was inevitable that I'd get some on myself but it was really damn hard for a girl to pee outdoors and not. I rested my butt on the edge of the bumper and wiped myself, tossing the toilet paper onto the ground and pulling my pants back up.

I came around the side of the minivan and smiled. "Much better."

He chuckled and nodded, trotting off to the back of the minivan. I crawled up onto the hood of the minivan, giving myself a bit better vantage point.

"So how long have you had the Bago?" I asked.

"A couple months," he called back. "I think someone else had the same idea because when I found it, it was abandoned and had a bunch of shit in it. Like, stockpile shit."

I nodded. "Where'd you find it?"

"Nevada somewhere. Reno maybe? It's hard to tell these days."

I laughed dryly. "No kidding."

"Where are you from?"

"Texas. You?"

"Washington state."

"Wow. Really?"

"Yep." I jumped; he was standing right next to me. He chuckled. "Some lookout you are."

I stuck my tongue out at him and jumped down. "I was being aware of the horizon since we already established the immediate surrounding area was clear."

He grinned and we headed back to the door of the Bago. "So, Texas huh." He studied me as we climbed inside. "You don't look more than 18 or 19."

"Yep."

"Your family?"

"Dead."

"Mine too."

I nodded. There was no need for explanations or apologies. As of two days ago, everyone I'd known before was dead.

"How old are you?"

He handed me a can of peaches and a can opener. "Twenty-nine."

"Old."

He laughed and perched on the steps, leaving the door open to bring in a bit of a breeze. "I feel old anyway."

We passed the can back and forth until it was empty, then took turns sipping the syrup.

"You know what I would love right now?" I sighed as he tossed the can on the pavement outside the door.

"Steak."

I grinned. "That too, but even something as simple as like, eggs and bacon would really be epic."

"God, I haven't had eggs and bacon in ages."

I nodded and settled beside him on the steps, looking around. "With a glass of milk or orange juice and some toast. That'd be so great right about now."

He laughed. "Simple things in life. Wish I'd appreciated them before."

I nodded. We sat in silence for a bit before he sighed and stood up. "We need to refill the tank then see if there's anything in the ground here."

"Refill it with what?" I asked curiously.

"Gas," he said as if it were the simplest thing in the world. "What do you think I haul in the minivan?"

I followed him back towards the minivan and my eyes goggled when I saw that it was filled to the brim with gas cans. The back two seats had been removed and there were gas cans in neat rows with sheets of plywood creating makeshift shelves for the next layer. He opened the door and pulled a can out, carrying it to the gas tank on the Bago and started to pour it in.

"Wow."

He nodded, a grin on his face. "It's hard keeping Winnie full."

"Winnie?"

"Winnie the Winnebago."

I laughed and nodded. "Nice."

"Not terribly original, but it works."

Once that can was empty, he got another one until the tank on Winnie was full. He then walked over to the gas pumps and kicked them, trying to get them to work.

"You know, unless your foot is electrified that's not going to work."

He shot me a dirty look and I smiled innocently at him. He circled the pumps thoughtfully. "These aren't electronic. These probably use a suction pump to get the gas up and out."

I stared at him blankly and he grinned.

"It's kind of complicated but basically, we can siphon any gas left in the tanks out into our cans."

I nodded. Siphoning I understood. The guys and I were old hat at that. There were thousands of deserted cars along the highways all over the country and a lot of them still had gas in the tanks. That's how we'd kept going for the most part.

Siphoning of a sort was what we ended up doing, carefully refilling the cans we'd emptied already and replacing them in the minivan. Edward carefully picked his way over broken glass into the gas station and raided the map display, spreading the one for the Southwest over the counter and taking a sip of a hot soda as he studied it.

"I think we probably just need to keep heading northeast," he muttered, running his finger along a line in the map. "We'll run into less people if we take back roads, but there's a stronger likelihood to find stores and gas stations on the main highways."

"Do you have a destination in mind?" I asked with surprise.

He nodded and finished the soda, tossing the can over his shoulder. "My family has a cabin up in Maine. It's on an island off the coast."

"And you think it'll be safe there or what?" I asked curiously as we grabbed the maps and a few sodas and headed back to Winnie.

"I know it is. The only way out there is a boat. My family owns the island and no one goes there but us."

"Oh." I was quiet, thinking. What if his family had had the same thoughts and had gone to the island, unknowingly infected? How would he feel going to his safe place and finding it peopled with zombies resembling his loved ones?

"It's basically our bomb shelter," he said quietly. "As soon as word started to spread about the infection, my parents and brothers went out there. Last I heard from them, they were all safe, they'd been there for a week, and had a lot of provisions. It's a big enough island that there's some natural wildlife but not so big that it would attract attention and far enough out the zeds couldn't get to it but not so far we can't."

I nodded, still not really sure about this. But, as I had nothing better to suggest, I didn't say anything. We strapped ourselves in and set out.

"How come you're not there yet?" I asked curiously. "Two years to get there seems like a really long time."

He smiled dryly. "Stuff kept getting in the way."

"Like?"

He sighed, running his fingers through his long hair. "People needed help. My wife wanted to get her family in Southern California so we headed there first. They were dead and she insisted on burying them. We did that but it took too long and we ended up having to hole up there for a couple weeks, trying to find a way out."

"You're married?"

"I was."

"I'm sorry."

He didn't say anything and I turned in my seat. "It's taken a long time to travel from Texas to Phoenix," I murmured. "Same kind of shit. Helping people, taking care of ourselves."

"You were with a group."

I nodded. "We…parted ways a couple days ago."

"Are they dead?"

"Yeah, but not by zeds. Rednecks."

He grimaced. "Maybe that's better. No offense against rednecks, but they seem to have no qualms about sex with anything that moves."

I nodded, my lips tightening. "I know. Believe me."

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, neither of us turning our heads. He was quiet for a long moment.

"I'm sorry, B. If I'd known, I wouldn't have insisted on last night."

I shrugged. "No use trying to fix it now. It is what it is."

We drove the next few hours in silence, stopping at another Wal-Mart and checking it out. It had been thoroughly raided, nothing left inside but the shelves and some carts.

"We should get some fishing equipment next place we hit," he commented that evening over our second meal, a can of corn.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Good fishing up in Maine."

I nodded my agreement and handed him the corn back. I was sick of it. I didn't like corn that much to begin with, but it seemed like everyone had so damn much of it when the worst happened that it was the majority of what we had now.

We spent months driving in a zigzag pattern across the country, looking for Wal-Marts and other places to raid. We finally found a Wal-Mart in a tiny backwoods town in West Virginia that hadn't hardly been touched. It looked like it had been forgotten by the world, the produce practically petrified in the bins, the perishables long since gone. We pretty much cleaned out the hunting and sporting section, taking guns, ammunition, fishing poles, lures, line, things I didn't even know what they were but seemed to excite Edward. We decided to camp out there for the night…or the day, as we were starting to travel at night when it was cooler. August was awful anywhere, I was discovering.

I wandered through the deserted store, looking at the clothes on the racks. I would have once turned my nose up at them, called them cheap. Now, they were the best looking things I'd seen in a while. I ran my fingers over some of the stuff, liking the way the material felt against my fingers.

"B!"

I turned, startled, lifting my bat and ready to swing.

"I found something! Come here!"

I followed the sound of Edward's voice to the back of the store warily. He had a stupid grin on his face as he pulled me through a door marked Employees Only.

"I was doing another scan, making sure we didn't miss a zed, you know? And look what I found." He stood to the side and swept his arm in front of himself proudly. I stared in awe at his discovery. A room full of showers.

"Do they work?"

"Yeah, I tried one. Look." He ran over to the first stall and reached inside, twisting the knob until water gurgled out of the shower head. It was brownish but it was running water. If we didn't drink it, we'd be ok.

I chewed my lip for a moment. It had been ages since we'd seen any zeds, but I had this irrational feeling that the moment I took a shower, they'd show up and sniff me out. But…as long as it had been since we'd seen zeds, it had been even longer since I'd had a real shower.

"You wanna go first?"

He grinned. "You can. I'm going to shave, too. This damn rug on my face is driving me crazy."

I laughed and nodded. "I'm for shaving, too."

We headed back into the store, our spirits lifted significantly. We made our way through the pharmacy section, pulling out shampoos and conditioners and soaps, razors and shaving cream, lotion, face wash, scissors and brushes and combs. Anything and everything that met our fancy. Then we headed to the clothing department and grabbed clean underwear and clean clothes. I found a pair of white cargo pants to replace my now stiff and decidedly nasty pants and a long sleeved blue t-shirt. My leather jacket and boots weren't going anywhere, but I'd relish the feeling of clean clothes for the first time in longer than I cared to admit.

The water was freezing, but I didn't care. I scrubbed at my scalp until the water ran as clear as it had before I got in and my skin until it was pink and clean. I dragged a plastic chair into the shower and used it to prop my legs up on while I shaved. It took a while to get all the dirt and unwanted hair off of my body, but once I did, I felt like…me. It was nice.

I stepped out and grabbed one of the fluffy towels we'd brought in and wrapped it around myself and another one to wrap around my hair. Edward was standing at the sink, shirtless, as he shaved. The sink bowl was black with all the hair he'd trimmed with the scissors. I laughed and walked over to him, a grin on my face.

"Need some help?"

He looked at me in the mirror and grinned. "No, I got it, thanks. How was the shower?"

"Probably the most wonderful thing I've experienced in a while."

He laughed and turned his attention back to his face. I grabbed my new clothes and settled in the little sink area near him with a bottle of lotion. I sat on a bench, my back to him, and started to rub the lotion into my skin. If I was going to wash away the stink that hid me from the zeds, I was going to do it all the way. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Edward's attention was fully on himself before I dropped the towel some and rubbed the lotion onto my stomach and breasts, then moved to my back. I was limber enough I could reach pretty much all of it myself.

Edward and I had some kind of serious sexual tension between us. It was basically inevitable when two people spent enough time together and were healthy, reasonably attractive people. Especially people like us who'd had reasonably healthy sex lives at some point in our lives. Most nights I woke up with something poking me in the back that was most definitely _not_ his bat or a gun. At first, I'd been mortified, and he had too. I'd scrambled out of the bed quickly, recklessly almost jumping out of Winnie before we did our checks. Every morning, I knew he "tended" to things before he peed and it irritated me somewhat, to be honest. I didn't exactly get the opportunity to tend to myself and I had some built up tension going on. After a couple weeks of that, it was all I could do not to roll over and mount him, riding him for all I was worth until we all felt a hell of a lot better. I actually couldn't stop my hips from wiggling against his in the night, as much as I tried to. He always thought I was asleep, and I did feel some guilty over that, but then I would remember the low moans he'd make and the way he'd move back and how tightly he'd grip the blankets on the other side of me and would grin to myself. Of course, we never talked about it.

Over the weeks, we'd talked a lot, feeling a strange sense of ease with each other almost immediately. I learned that he and his wife, Tanya, had been married for six years when the shit hit the fan and that the last year of it had been rough. She'd nearly walked out a couple times, in spite of his insisting they stick it out. She'd died somewhere in Utah, bitten by a zed after they'd had a screaming fight and she'd walked away from him. In the fight, she told him the baby she was carrying wasn't his, that she wasn't even sure whose it was because she'd had more than one lover. He said in that instant he stopped loving her. He'd watched in horror, though, as the zeds overtook her and ripped the baby from her belly. She'd been too far away and there were too many zeds for him to help her anyway. He made sure she was dead dead before leaving her corpse and heading south.

I learned that while he was desperate to get to Maine, he was also determined to help as many people as he could along the way, go to the home cities of as many friends and family as he could. We never found anything more than zeds and corpses. The few times we ran into other survivors, we merely traded goods for safe passage across what they claimed as their turf. We had enough of everything that nothing was really off limits. I figured he probably looked at it as his way of making up for letting Tanya walk away from him in the desert.

I learned he was the youngest of three boys and that the older two were married with kids. The cabin would be full with the whole family there but it was better to be uncomfortable with family than comfortable with zeds. I agreed with him whole-heartedly.

I learned that he had been a newspaper reporter back in Seattle and he'd been among the first to realize what was going on, so his family had gotten to the island before many others knew what was going on. They'd gone back into town a few times for provisions, filling up the basement and the shed and attic and as many rooms as they could with stuff. He'd originally planned to fly to Maine, but then the airlines all shut down.

I told him about me, about high school and the guys, the group we started out with, how we figured out about the scent thing and how zombie movies were totally shit. I told him about finding my parents and my little brother dead in our house and about watching as the girls in the group got picked off one by one since they refused to stop using scented body sprays until it was too late. I even told him about being traded for gas.

His jaw tightened at that story. "B, I want you to know, I would never do that."

I was quiet. "You might have to. You have people to get to, Edward, I don't. If it comes down to it, you'd trade me, a stranger, a girl you don't know and don't have any attachments to, for a chance to get to your family. And I wouldn't blame you."

He refused to talk to me anymore after that. We'd driven the rest of the night in silence. That was three days ago and he was now pretending like nothing had been said.

I was rubbing lotion into my arms and studying my feet. I could do with a pedicure. Not like anyone would ever see it, but it'd be nice to know that my toes were painted. I was studying them when I heard a low cough behind me. I looked up and flushed when I realized Edward was looking at me, his face pink.

"Your towel," he muttered.

I nodded and pulled it up. "I was putting on lotion."

He nodded and turned away. I noticed then that his face was clean shaven. "Looks good."

He grinned, still faced away from me. "Thanks."

I stood up and pulled on the clean panties and bra, dropping the towel and pulling on the pants and t-shirt next. "You go get clean. I'll keep watch now."

He nodded and grabbed his basket of shower goodies and walked around the corner. I groaned softly and headed back into the store, the tile floor strange against my bare feet. I wandered around the cosmetics aisle until I found a color of nail polish I liked. I grabbed it and a clear coat and some pedicure supplies and headed back to the bathroom to sit near Edward.

His shower took a while, just like mine had, and my half-assed pedicure didn't take that long. I sat back and studied it for a moment before lying back on the bench and staring up at the ceiling. It was dim in here since the room didn't have any windows, but we'd brought in all the lanterns we'd found and they cast an eerie sort of glow around the room. We'd need to turn them off soon so we could save the batteries for later. They, of course, were going with us.

I wiggled my toes in the warm air and closed my eyes, content. Cleanliness was really a pretty awesome thing.

I must have drifted off to sleep because I woke up to a soothing voice.

"You smell very nice, very pretty."

I froze. I could still hear the shower running, signaling that Edward was still in there. I slid my hand across the bench and looked around carefully, trying to locate the voice.

"I'll bet you taste as good as you smell."

My fingers wrapped around the handle of my bat, the wood solid and comforting in my hand.

"Just a little bite, I promise it'll only hurt for a little while," the voice continued. I could see it now, the white unseeing eyes, the hands scrabbling along the wall and groping out in front of it looking for me. My heart was pounding in my chest. This one didn't look like it had been dead for that long, just a few days. It had been a woman, the long red hair stringy with blood and gore, the front of her shirt covered in it. Most of her fingernails were gone, but the ones that were still there were long red acrylics.

I carefully stood up, making sure not to make a sound as I gripped the bat just like Dad had taught me years and a lifetime ago. She was getting closer, moving slowly, her feet shuffling on the floor, bumping into the lanterns set up. She was getting closer and my heart was in my throat.

"You smell divine, I must say," she kept on, that West Virginia twang in her voice like nails on a chalkboard. It almost seemed faked.

I slowly took a deep breath, making as little sound as I could, but she still heard me. Her face twisted into a horrible caricature of a smile and she turned towards me fully now, her pace picking up. I backed up and bumped into the sink, wincing slightly.

"Oh, don't worry, you'll still taste the same bruised. Just fresher."

She knocked over a lamp, shattering the glass in it and darkening the room a little.

"B?"

Edward's voice distracted her and she turned in his direction. I took my opportunity and swung with all my strength, getting her solidly in the back of the head. It imploded like a rotten cantaloupe and my stomach lurched as the gore splattered over me. She went down immediately but I stifled a scream when I saw now that there were two others in the doorway.

"B?" Edward's voice sounded panicked and I looked up then.

"There's zeds here," I managed, my voice shaking slightly. "I just killed one but two more are in here."

"Two of us, two of you," one said silkily. "Perfect."

I jumped when a banshee scream ripped through the air and Edward appeared from the showers, his aluminum bat in hand, swinging wildly. I quickly regained myself and stepped forward, my foot slipping slightly in the gore from the woman, and swung at the first man while Edward took on the second. My swing went wide and I fell from the momentum and the water now on the floor, landing flat on my back. The air was knocked out of me and my bat went skittering off into the darkness. I heard another body hit the floor and I prayed to whatever god might be left in such a fucked up existence that it wasn't Edward, that at least he would get away.

I could hear the low chuckling of the zed that I'd been fighting with as he crouched over me. His hands were groping along my legs and feet, touching my hips and stomach and latching onto my breasts.

"I always loved a good breast," he moaned softly, squeezing them and pulling on them.

I cried out in pain as he pulled harder, trying to rip my breasts off of my body. The room had gone nearly black as most of the lanterns were kicked over in the scuffle between Edward and the other zed and in my attempts to get away.

Suddenly, his body slumped against mine and I pushed at him when I felt the blood and pus oozing onto me.

"B, are you ok?" Edward sounded panicked.

I was crying in earnest now and he groped in the darkness for me, finding me and pulling me up off the floor and crushing me against his chest. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my face against him, sobbing.

"We'll get out of here soon, ok?"

I nodded.

"Come on, we need to check out the store, see what's going on."

I nodded again and let him pull me towards the door. I struggled to suppress my sobs as we looked around the store, my hand clasped tightly in his. We didn't see any sign of anything else and by the bloody footprints on the floor and handprints on the door, it looked like they'd come in through the door and just walked right back to the showers.

"They smelled us," I hiccupped.

He nodded, his jaw tense again. He turned then to study me. "Are you ok? Any injuries?"

I nodded. "I'm fine. No injuries."

He nodded, his eyes scanning my body and pulling up my sleeves to check my arms. "Come on, you need to rinse off."

I nodded and followed him back to the showers again, my face red as I realized that he was still naked. He pushed me into the shower stall first, his fingers working in my long hair to get the gore out. I closed my eyes and tilted my head back as he squirted some shampoo into his hand and rubbed it in. My hands were resting lightly at his waist, my thumbs moving lightly of their own free will.

"Clothes," he said softly.

I nodded and peeled off the ruined t-shirt and pants, leaving them in a sodden heap on the floor of the shower and stood, shivering, in my underwear. His eyes scanned my body again, looking for overlooked bites or scratches, but found nothing. He gently undid the bra and dropped it with the clothes before lathering up a loofa and cleaning my body with it gently, taking special care with my now bruised breasts.

When he was finished, he dropped the loofa to the floor and pulled me against him, hugging me tightly.

"B, you've got to be careful."

"I know," I mumbled, my voice muffled by his chest.

"No, I don't think you do," he said, pained. He pulled back and studied me for a long moment before leaning down and kissing me.

I didn't hesitate in kissing him back, standing on my toes and slipping my arms around his neck. He grinned against my mouth and pulled me closer, lifting me off the shower before pulling his mouth from mine and pressing his face into the crook of my neck.

"You have to be careful," he repeated "because you're important to me. You've become my family and I can't lose you."

I nodded, not trusting my voice. He set me down and kissed my forehead, smoothing my hair back. "We've got to get dressed and get the hell out of here. Ok?"

I nodded again and moved past him back into the store. I wrapped a towel around my hair and hastily dried my body off before heading back into the store. I grabbed a clean set of clothes and pulled them on in the middle of the store, not caring anymore. Edward said he cared about me. That was all that mattered now.


	4. Chapter 4: Roadblock

The lanterns were all pretty much ruined so we didn't have to worry about loading anything else up. We started for Winnie, pausing and doing all our checks again. I shivered slightly in the warm air, the smell and feel of the zeds ever present in my mind as I swung up into the cab.

Edward reached over and squeezed my hand as he started up the engine and we roared off into the falling dusk.

We drove all night, twisting back and forth through the darkness. We didn't talk much as we drove. I got up a time or two to get something for Edward to eat and drink, but otherwise I stayed where I was and he did too. He finally pulled over as the first light of dawn was starting to brighten everything around us, revealing that we were on a highway lined on both sides by forests. I looked over at him.

"We probably shouldn't stop here."

He nodded and sighed. "No, this is a shit stopping point, but I'm falling asleep."

"I'll drive."

He looked at me with surprise. In all the time we'd been together, I'd never driven. I had a set of keys, he'd given them to me after a couple of days together just in case something happened to him and we were separated, but I'd never used them. They simply sat in my pocket. He turned his attention back to the road, thinking.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "I just have to drive straight, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah. I thought we might see some of DC if you're interested. You've never been, right?"

"Yeah."

"We're on the right road for a stop there if you're interested."

"Sure. I mean, we should probably avoid the museums."

He grinned and nodded. "Yeah, probably."

"So…you want to sleep in the back while I drive?"

He nodded. "If you don't mind."

"Go ahead."

He stood up, stretching, and made his way into the back. I switched seats and adjusted it so I could reach the pedals. It wasn't typically that big of a deal, but I was now realizing just how much taller than I Edward was. I shifted Winnie into gear and started off down the road.

I drove carefully, nervous about driving Winnie. I hadn't really driven in years, to be honest. The guys always drove our van and I had always been content to be a passenger. I mentally berated myself for not offering before now. It wasn't that difficult.

What was difficult, though, was finding a safe place to stop. We were in the mountains and it made me nervous to pull over at any of the rest stops I passed. There was no telling who, or what, was in the woods beyond the picnic shelters. I kept an eye on the fuel gauge and finally pulled into a rest stop in a relatively clear area when the gauge was at a third of a tank. We never drove past that point.

I put the RV in park and stood up, stretching my sore limbs for a moment before carefully picking my way back towards Edward.

He was sprawled on his back, as spread eagle as one could get in the space we had for sleeping, his mouth open slightly. I grinned and shook his foot lightly. "Edward."

He grunted and his eyes opened, staring with unfocused eyes at the ceiling for a long moment. He finally sat up, running his fingers through his hair and scrubbing his face, something he did every time he woke up.

"Yeah."

"We need to refuel then I'll keep driving until we get somewhere safer."

He nodded and crawled off the bed sleepily. I stepped out of the way, making to head back towards the front when his arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me back to him for a kiss.

He was warm and sweet and smelled good. I loved early morning sleepy kisses and while this wasn't technically early morning, it was for us. I kissed him back, raising onto my toes to hug his neck.

He smiled and relaxed his hold, kissing me on the nose. "Everything ok so far?"

I nodded and released him, my hands resting lightly on his forearms. "Peachy keen."

He chuckled and released me, bending to pick up his bat, handing me one of our spares as we headed out to refuel.

We worked quickly, emptying several cans into the fuel tank. Neither of us said a word, but we were both painfully aware of the fact that the fuel was running out. Winnie sucked a lot of gas down, especially as loaded down as we had her and hauling the minivan, and we hadn't found a viable pump in ages. We were pretty much just going to head straight to Maine at this point, the little jaunt through DC and NYC not-with-standing. Since we weren't going to go in anywhere, those jaunts would be brief. I was hoping we'd have enough I could see a few things in Boston but I was ok to skip it. Survival first and all that.

We secured the empty cans in the van and climbed back in. Edward kissed me again before crawling into the bed for another nap. I drove for a while before it started to rain. It started slowly at first, light gentle drops pattering against the windshield, before they picked up in intensity, fat angry drops pounding on the roof and hood, sounding for all the world like hail. I knew it wasn't but it still made me nervous. Plus, I couldn't see anything through the windshield. I slowed down almost to a crawl as I twisted through the mountains, hunched over the wheel and peering ahead for any obstacles that might appear.

We'd run into a few blocked roads in the past few months and they'd been annoying, sure, but we'd made our way around them. I wasn't sure about now. It would be really hard to maneuver Winnie with the minivan on the steep winding roads.

I slowed as I came up to a steep blind turn, nervous about what might be on the other side. I took it carefully, the engine protesting slightly as I pushed it uphill. I slowed even more when I saw a blockade up ahead.

"Edward," I called over my shoulder "I think we've got company."

A few moments later he was in the passenger seat, his eyes peering through the sheets of rain at the dark shapes moving around in the road in front of us. It looked like a homemade blockade, some sawhorses and men with rifles.

"What do I do?" I asked nervously as one started to wave at me, signifying that he wanted me to stop.

"Do what he asks," muttered Edward. "These do not look like people to fuck with."

I nodded and stopped Winnie in front of the blockade, studying the men. There were at least six of them, all heavily armed and, as Edward so eloquently put it, not the kind of people you wanted to fuck with.

One stepped forward and motioned for me to roll my window down. He was wearing a poncho so the rain ran off of him onto the ground, creating a little ring of dripping water around his legs. I cranked the window down some, enough so we could hear each other but not so much that I'd get wet.

"Where you headed?" he asked conversationally.

"DC," I responded.

He nodded and peered past me at Edward who nodded once in greeting. The man craned his neck, trying to see into Winnie. I noticed then that Edward had pulled the curtain separating the driving area from the back, likely to hide all of our stuff from prying eyes. The curtains or blinds were pulled in the rest of it already.

"How many of you are there?"

"Just the two of us."

He nodded and stepped back a bit. I bit back a sigh of relief, thinking he was going to let us through. "Please get out of the vehicle."

I shot a glance at Edward and he nodded slightly. I carefully unbuckled my seatbelt and clambered down. Edward did the same before walking around and standing beside me, slipping an arm around my shoulders protectively. The six men gathered around us now, all wearing ponchos, their rifles held in a seemingly lax stance, pointed at the ground. Their fingers lightly caressing the triggers belied the appearance of relaxation.

"We've got a few things we could trade for safe passage," Edward was saying beside me. "Food, ammunition, clothes even."

None of the men moved a muscle. The sound of the rain in my ears was nearly deafening. I felt a sudden inexplicable urge to cry when one man's eyes finally flicked over and raked up and down my body. My soaked clothing was clinging to my skin and not leaving much to the imagination. I knew exactly what they wanted without them having to say it. I felt my skin crawl as one by one, the other men regarded me, some more discreetly than others. The leader finally nodded his head at me.

"We want her." He said it so matter-of-factly that I hoped I'd heard him wrong.

"She's not available," Edward replied, just as calmly, his arm tightening around me. "Anything else is fine."

"Boy, you don't seem to understand. There's six of us and two of you. We'll take what we want whether you want to give it or not."

"No, _you_ don't seem to understand," Edward countered, an edge of steel in his voice. "She's not on the table. Anything else I have is."

One of the men twitched slightly, his finger jerking on the trigger. I tensed, bracing myself for the loud rapport of the weapon. There was no sound but the deafening rain. None of the other men seemed to have noticed but Edward had. His tight hold on me relaxed somewhat.

"We don't want whatever else you might got in there, just her. You likely know women are scarce nowadays."

"I do. I also know you have no bullets so here's the new bargain. I'll give you a box of whatever I can throw together for you, a little of everything, and you'll let us through. You can escort us if you want and I'll give you the box on the other side. Otherwise, you'll just have to follow us to get your box."

"We got bullets, son," growled another man.

"Sure you do. I mean, why not just shoot me and take her and everything we've got? Why this ridiculous banter?"

They shifted uneasily and I shivered slightly as a cold breeze picked up then. They were exchanging glances, clearly uncertain of what to make of us now.

"I, on the other hand, do have bullets," Edward continued, pulling the small handgun out of the back of his pants and holding it up. "Six, in fact. So, I can shoot you all and drive on through or you can escort us and take what we give you."

"How do we know you'd keep your end up?" demanded one.

"You're just gonna have to trust me."

One man leaned over and spit. Clearly, chewing tobacco was still around up here. He finally nodded and stepped back. The other men took his cue and stepped out of the way. Edward helped me up into Winnie and climbed in behind me, pushing me over to the passenger seat.

"Lock the doors," he said in a low voice.

I nodded, teeth chattering, as he shifted into gear and started forward. One of the men jumped up on the running board beside Edward's door and motioned for him to keep going. He was apparently going to be our escort.

"B, get some shit together for them. Food, ammunition, some clothes, couple of lanterns, throw in some condoms, too."

I nodded and stood up, moving as quickly as I could to get things together. My hands were numb but I made them work with me. We reached the border of their territory about an hour later and the guy hopped down as we approached the other blockade. They pulled the saw horse fence open and Edward rolled down his window, passing the box out to them and nodding as he drove through. As soon as we cleared the blockade, he hit the gas and we got the hell out of there.

About ten miles down the road, Edward finally spoke.

"You should dry off some if you can. Wrap up in a blanket, maybe curl up in the bed to warm up."

"I'm fine," I mumbled, my lips numb.

His jaw tensed. "B, do it. We can't afford for you to get sick."

I sighed and nodded, moving into the back to change. I pulled out a pair of jeans and a sweater and pulling them on quickly and then wrapping a towel around my hair before rejoining him in the front. Edward nodded as I sat back down, passing him a towel.

"I'd make you pull over and change, too, if I thought you'd do it."

He grinned slightly. "I don't get sick. I'll be fine."

I rolled my eyes and reclined my seat a little. "Men."


	5. Chapter 5: Seeing DC

We didn't talk the rest of the day, driving in silence until we hit the outskirts of Washington DC. Edward finally slowed down as we started to encounter cars stopped in the middle of the road. He maneuvered around them expertly as he headed towards the Mall and all the big main monuments. The city was quiet and eerie, like every other city we'd been through.

"You know anyone around here?" I asked softly, my voice slightly raspy.

He shook his head. "No."

"We don't have to stop."

"You may never get another chance to see it."

I nodded. The unspoken truth was weighing down on us. There was no guarantee that we'd make it through this alive, that anyone would. We didn't know if the infection was restricted to us or if the rest of the world was done for.

He pulled Winnie to a stop on a small side street and we sat in silence. The rain was letting up but it was still falling. The heavy gray clouds were making the dusk fall faster and even though it was still relatively early in the evening, it was pretty dark outside.

"Let's sleep now and we'll do the touristy thing tomorrow when it's clearer."

I nodded, too tired to argue. We split a can of pork and beans, dashed outside to urinate under a small awning and then crawled into our small nest to sleep.

I cuddled against his chest, nestling my nose against his throat. "Thanks for not trading me today."

He stroked my hair with one hand, the other holding me close. "You're my family, B. No one fucks with my family."

I nodded, my eyes closing and the darkness of sleep taking me under.

The next morning dawned bright and clear. Edward and I did our regular checks, ate a breakfast of canned pears, and set out, a set of keys in each of our pockets and a bat in one hand. We were wearing our padding and our long sleeves. We probably looked like fat freaks, but we were relatively safe and we were content. We made our way up the steps of the Lincoln Memorial. There were dark stains on the white stone and remnants of bodies around the base of Lincoln in his chair. I looked up at it for a moment, then turned and wandered around, reading the words carved into the stone walls.

"I came here once in 8th grade," Edward said after a moment. "Class trip. I got my first kiss right over there."

I turned my head and looked in the direction he was pointing. I grinned and walked over towards it. "Here?"

He grinned and nodded, following me. "Right here." He rested one hand on my hips and reached up with the other, pulling my mask off and kissing me lightly before replacing it and pulling me along behind him.

We walked around the reflecting pool, stopping to look at the World War I Memorial, then the Korean and the Vietnam Memorials. I pulled him off to the side and we found a path leading to the Jefferson Memorial. It led through a little wooded area so we were tense but we made it through alright.

I stared up at the statue of Jefferson now, thoughtful.

"Do you think that we'll ever have a 'normal' again?"

"Who knows. We'll create our own normal, that's for sure."

I sighed. "Lie to me, Edward. Tell me everything will be wonderful and perfect again someday, that I won't have to wear a face mask and sports pads when I want to pee, that I can take a bath more than once every three months or so."

He chuckled softly and took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together. "Fine. Someday, we'll get back to normal. You'll go to college and I'll be writing for a paper again. You'll have a small apartment somewhere that's perfect for a college student and you'll have tons of guys hanging all over your every word and none of them will be worthy of you."

I grinned and nodded. "Better."

We wandered back to the Mall, looking up at the Washington Monument and then heading back towards Winnie, pausing at the World War II monument as we went. I leaned against Edward as we looked at it. The fountains had long since stopped and the water was scummy and nasty. It smelled awful and mosquitoes were buzzing around, inevitably finding ways through the layers we were wearing to bite our skin.

"Do you think they'll build a monument to the survivors?"

"Maybe. It'd be easier to remember the survivors than those who died."

I wandered over to the place where Texas was engraved on a stone pillar. I reached up and touched it with my gloved fingertips. Edward was running his fingers over the wall of stars.

"We should go," he said after a while. "It's getting late. We'll sleep tonight and drive on tomorrow. We're about three hours from Philadelphia."

"Let's just go tonight," I suggested, slipping my hand into his as we started back towards Winnie. "I'll drive and you can sleep."

"I'll stay up with you. You've had less sleep than I have the last couple of days."

I nodded and yawned, proving his point. He chuckled as we walked, looking around. "Did you ever see the movie _The Exorcist_?"

"Yeah. It scared the shit out of me."

He laughed. "You know it was filmed here? The steps the guy fell down aren't too far, about two miles or something. You wanna go try to find them?"

"Fuck yeah!" I exclaimed excitedly.

He laughed and helped me up into Winnie before running around the front and climbing in as well. We drove for a bit, peering around corners as we looked for the gas station marking the bottom of the steps. I squealed when I saw it, bouncing in my seat and tapping on the window. Edward laughed again and pulled into the gas station. We looked around, grabbed our bats, and climbed out. We walked over to the bottom of the steps and looked up at them.

"They look steep."

He nodded and looked up it, hefting the bat in his hands. "I dare you to go up."

I raised my eyebrows and turned to face him. "You dare me?"

"I do." The corner of his mouth quirked up into a small smile.

"I'll do it if you do it."

"Ok."

We both stood, staring up the steps.

"Ladies first."

"Age before beauty."

"I'll be right behind you to catch you."

"I'm sure you will be."

We kept staring.

"Ok, here's the deal."

I turned to him, my eyebrows raised. "I'm listening."

"We just tell people we did it."

I grinned and stuck out my free hand. "Deal."

He shook it, then wrapped his arm around my shoulders and we headed back to Winnie.

"You know what I've always wanted to see?" he asked, pulling back out onto the street.

"The Eiffel Tower. No wait, the moon."

He grinned. "The President's rooms in the White House."

"Ooo… me too."

"Wanna check it out? Maybe spend the night there? We can get up early and head to Philly, spend the day seeing shit there, then drive straight through to Portland."

"Oh my god we could sleep at the White House." Suddenly, the AZ didn't seem so bad. I'd completely forgotten the fact that not only were normal people's houses and stores and buildings vacant, so were rich people's houses and mansions.

We drove through the quiet streets until we found Pennsylvania Avenue and Edward pulled to a stop. We sat in Winnie and looked through the gate at the large house.

"So…do we ram the gates or what?"

"Sure, why not."

I laughed. "It might do some damage to Winnie."

"Well, obviously not with this vehicle. God, B, give me some credit."

I grinned and turned in my seat, looking around. "There." I tapped my finger on the window, looking at a pickup truck sitting a ways down. He nodded and swung out of his seat, crossing to the truck. I locked up behind him and watched, rolling my window down so I could shout if I needed to. He opened the door and leaned in, checking for keys. He stood up and gave me a thumbs up before settling into the seat and turning the engine over. I crossed my fingers anxiously but it caught and sat at an idle. I watched him pull his seatbelt on and then maneuver the truck around so he was facing the gate. He took a deep breath and hit the gas. I chewed on my lip nervously, watching the truck rocket forward and slam into the gate. It bounced back, his head snapping back painfully. I winced for him and looked at the gate. Nothing.

He rubbed his neck, shook his head and backed up, ramming it again. He tried a few more times but nothing happened. He was scowling now. He finally moved the truck out of the way and walked over to the gates, studying them. If they were electric, we were pretty well sunk. It would be difficult to move them manually. I laughed to myself as he kicked the gates a few times and then pulled out the gun and fired at it. I shook my head as he finally stomped back to Winnie and climbed in.

"So…that's a no go then." He shot me a look and I laughed. "Hey, at least you tried. Let's just go on to Philly and see it tomorrow. Get a head start on everything."

He nodded and sighed. "It's frustrating, though. I was really looking forward to sleeping in a bed tonight."

I grinned. "It's fine. Soon we'll be on the island and you said there are beds there so we'll be fine."

He grinned. "Yeah, but sex will be a little awkward with my family all around us."

My face heated up at that. "Sex huh?"

"Yeah. I was thinking it'd be nice to do that at least once before we got there and even better on a large comfortable bed."

"You have a point."

We were still sitting in front of the White House, looking up at it.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I think I'd rather get to the safety first. Avoid the horror movie cliché of characters having sex. You know they're always the ones who die, right?"

He grinned and nodded. "Good point." He started the engine and pulled back onto the street, avoiding the truck.

We drove all the way to Philly. Normally, I was sure it was a three hour drive, but in these conditions, driving around cars sitting on the highway, stopping to refuel, the slow speed of Winnie, it took us nearly five. It was well after dark when we crossed the city limits and Edward was looking somewhat anxious about that. We'd been lucky in DC, seeing nothing to cause any stress. Here, though, there were more cars, more remnants of people scattered around. There seemed to be a higher likelihood of running into something here. His nervousness was making me nervous.

"Look," I said finally. "Let's just get the fuck out of here, drive out into the country a bit and sleep there. Fuck Philly, we'll just go on to Portland tomorrow."

Edward nodded, not saying a word, as he kept on driving. We drove a little ways outside the city, the darkness outside seeming to press in on us. He finally pulled into a rest stop that was relatively exposed to give us some kind of a lookout for in the morning.

I unbuckled and got up, grabbing a can of green beans for dinner and opening it. I grabbed a fork and stabbed some beans, popping them in my mouth before passing the can and fork over to Edward.

He settled on the floor, eating tiredly. We passed the can back and forth tiredly until it was done. We did our regular nightly check and pee routine, then crawled into the nest.

Tonight though, as tired as we were, we didn't go straight to sleep. We couldn't see each other in the darkness but Edward brought his hands up, cupping my face and kissing me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed back, hooking my knee over his hip. He groaned softly and rocked his hips into mine.

"It's been a really long time," he muttered.

"I know but we shouldn't. We have to keep our guard up and all that shit."

"We'll just be sleeping otherwise."

I smiled and kissed him again. "I'm just nervous. Who knows where we are or what's out there?"

He groaned softly, his breath hot against my face. He rested his forehead against mine. "You're right. We can wait. _I_ can wait."

I nodded again and pulled him a little closer to me. "Just cause we don't get naked doesn't mean we can't rub up against each other."

He laughed softly and pulled me close, rolling us carefully so he was over me. He rolled his hips against mine and I sucked in my breath. He moaned softly and moved again, pressing harder.

"Fuck, maybe we should…" I panted, raising my hips and pressing back.

He chuckled softly and rubbed his groin against mine firmly, not losing contact. I tightened my legs around his waist, pulling him closer to me.

"I wish I could feel you," he panted back before groaning and resting himself against me, his elbows propping him up. "Though if I did, I wouldn't have lasted even that long."

"You've been celibate for a while," I laughed softly, rubbing his scalp. "Plus, you only just admitted that you wanted more than just a friendship with me. Maybe it's for the best we don't…"

"Shut the fuck up," he laughed softly. "I'll take the long celibacy but not the other shit."

We adjusted so we were spooning again, his chest against my back. He snaked one hand across my stomach and into my pants, cupping me lightly over my panties. I flinched slightly and he kissed my head, leaving his hand in place for me to get used to it. After a few minutes he started to rub me gently. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling. He moved my hair with his other hand and kissed my bared neck. His fingers below moved gently and surely against me as his mouth gently licked and sucked at my neck. All the attention on my lady parts was more than I could stand and I came hard, crying out into the piles of clothes.

Edward's hand readjusted my panties and came up, resting solidly on my stomach. I sighed softly and twisted in his arms, kissing his chest before shifting up and finding his mouth in the dark.

"Thank you."

He laughed softly and pulled me closer. "You're welcome. You've needed that for a while."

"God, yes."

He kissed me again. "Sleep, B."

I was exhausted so that was an easy request to obey. We slept later the next day than we intended. The sun was higher in the sky than we typically let it get before moving, but after last night's late driving and activities, we didn't really care. We were careful as we checked around and refueled and peed, then I started driving while Edward changed his pants in the back. I won't lie. I peaked. I'd been too embarrassed to really look in the showers but now…all bets were off. I grinned as I set off down the road.

Edward rejoined me a few minutes later, passing me a can of pineapple rings.

"Thanks."

He nodded, grabbing one for himself. "You looked didn't you."

"Yep."

"And?"

I grinned. "I wish we were in Maine already."

He laughed and shook his head. "Just a couple days, kiddo."

I nodded and shifted in my chair, pressing the gas a little firmer.


	6. Chapter 6: Sitting on the Docks

The next two days were spent driving, pausing only for occasional bathroom breaks and refueling. We slept in shifts so that we could just keep on driving, hoping to get to Portland as quickly as possible. We were down to less than half our fuel reserves, which was still quite a bit, but not much if we needed to make a detour. We drove through New York City, looking at things out of the windows but not stopping for anything. We saw some zeds who looked like they were feeding on something. They chased us for a while, but we managed to get past them and out into the country on the other side. We stopped that night somewhere in the middle of Connecticut.

We were both tense and nervous, but for different reasons. Well…maybe not entirely different reasons. We were both anxious about his family. He was scared they were dead in some way, I was scared they weren't and that they'd hate me. I mean, granted, there weren't a lot of options out there for anyone, we were each other's best shot at happiness in the future, but still. I was essentially a high school dropout who'd been gang-banged by rednecks who'd bought me for a couple of gallons of gas. Not exactly most people's ideal for their college educated son.

We arrived in Portland the evening of the second day, exhausted from not sleeping the night before. We'd both been too nervous to sleep but too tired to drive. I think we dozed a little, but not much. We could hear movement outside and that shit was terrifying. The farther we'd gone from DC, the more zeds we'd seen. I was absolutely terrified we'd gotten this close only to be killed, trapped inside Winnie with our shitton of stuff, eating canned vegetables for the rest of our pitiful lives.

Edward drove us to some docks and we sat, looking out over the water, the sun setting behind us.

"It's out there," he said softly, pointing. "The second big one from the left."

I nodded, not sure if I saw the right one or not. "So…now what?"

He blew out a sigh, running his fingers through his hair and shaking his head. "I have no fucking clue. We need a boat to get there."

"Is there a marina nearby? Country club maybe?"

"Maybe." He leaned forward, hunched over the steering wheel as he stared out at the island. It was almost like he was willing it to come close enough for us to get to it. "It's been a while since I was here."

"So, we'll sleep tonight and then in the morning, find a marina and get a boat. Piece of cake."

He nodded, but didn't move when I stood up. I grabbed another can, opening it and offering it to him. He popped a stewed tomato in his mouth and made a face.

"I hate tomatoes."

"Me too." I took a deep breath before putting one in my mouth. It burst when I bit down, the juice squirting down my chin. I grimaced and wiped it with my sleeve. Strangely, we never thought to grab napkins. Plastic ware, we had. Plates, we had. Napkins or paper towels…not so much.

We chewed in silence, dashing out to pee before dark, then I headed back to sleep. Edward stayed in the chair all night, watching the spot where the island had been as though he were afraid it would be swallowed up by the sea. The moon peeked out a few times from behind the clouds, but otherwise, it was a dark night.

Neither of us slept again, just a few minutes of dozing here and there. I could hear Edward shifting occasionally in the front and once in a while, I could hear the wind outside, whispering and sounding like a zed. The silky low voices, the coaxing, the wheedling, the begging even. I finally clamped my hands over my ears to shut it out. That didn't work, so I pulled some of the piles of clothes down around my head to muffle the wind. I finally dropped off into a restless sleep full of dreams of being caught in small spaces with zeds gnawing on my legs and feet and snakes wriggling over my torso. I woke up screaming and swinging, connecting solidly with something.

"Fuck, B, it's just me."

I blinked, panting. Edward was sprawled on the floor at the foot of the bed and my fist was smarting. "Edward?"

"You were having a nightmare and I was trying to wake you up."

I started to cry, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging them. He crawled over to me, pulling me close against him and rocking me. "It's fine. I'm here. I'm not going to hurt you and I won't let anyone or anything else hurt you."

I nodded, hiccupping. Gradually, my sobs stopped and I fell back asleep. He held me this time and there was nothing but black in my head.

The next morning my head was throbbing. My eyes and throat were scratchy and my nose was stuffed up. I felt like shit. Edward looked at me worriedly as I simply passed him back the can of fruit cocktail after only eating a few bites and shook my head.

"I can't. Not anymore."

He nodded and ate his fill before carefully setting it in the sink. He fired up the engine and we set out in search of a marina.

It took most of the day, but we finally found one with a boat big enough for all of our stuff. We'd brought it all this far, it felt a shame to abandon it now. Edward spent the rest of the day filling the gas tank and transferring what he could while I stood half-assed guard. As the sun was setting, he ushered me back inside Winnie and back into bed. I forced down some canned soup before dropping off into another night of restless nightmare riddled sleep.

The second day, I was on the roof with a jug of water, watching. My head felt hazy and stuffy and like it was floating a little. I shook it a little when I saw something in the distance.

"Edward."

He looked up and I pointed. He climbed up beside me quickly and shaded his eyes. "Zeds," he grimaced.

I nodded and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath in a futile effort to calm the buzzing in my ears. "How many?"

"Looks like just two. Here." He reached over and took the rifle. The zeds had seen us by now and were picking up their pace. They were hobbling towards us, not really running full tilt like I'd seen in Arizona and New Mexico. It looked like they were a little older than most we'd seen recently. One was missing an arm.

Edward lifted the rifle up and carefully aimed and fired, taking one down in a single shot then getting the other. We sat in silence for a bit, watching to make sure they didn't re-reanimate. When we were sure they were done for, Edward kissed my temple, gave me the rifle back and clambered back down to continue with the transfer of goods.

It took two days of Edward working hard and almost non-stop to get everything transferred. We had to take down zeds another time after that. There may be fewer of them, but these were fresher. That meant people were getting bolder and coming out of their hiding places before everything was safe. I knew he was worried about his family but he didn't say a word, just worked steadily. I didn't have an appetite, but I still forced him to stop and get a bite to eat at least twice a day.

I felt horrible about not helping more. If I'd been well, maybe we could already be on the island, safe and secure and surrounded by his loved ones. Instead, I would climb on top of Winnie and sit with my rifle and water, watching all day for anything coming our way.

The third day, he woke me up, a huge grin on his face. "Today's the day, B."

I nodded and sat up tiredly. "Everything's loaded?"

He nodded. "All the gas is out of Winnie and the minivan into cans and stowed safely on the boat. The boat's tank is full. All we have to do is go."

I nodded and swung my feet around, sitting and staring at the floor for a moment. "Then let's go."

I stood up and my knees buckled. He caught me and carried me out to the boat, settling me carefully in the co-pilot seat of it. I watched dazedly as he moved around, untying and casting off or whatever the hell it was you did to get a boat ready to go out on open water. My stomach lurched at that thought. I'd never been on open water before; the very idea of it kind of terrified me.

He came back then, another huge grin on his face and he settled in the captain's chair. "Ready?"

I gave him a thumbs up and he turned the key in the ignition. I closed my eyes, waiting for the rumble of the engine below my chair. Nothing happened.

"Fuck."

I opened one eye and looked at him. "What?"

"You need two keys. I've only got one."

I stared at him for a moment before bursting out laughing. "Oh god."

He shot me an annoyed look. "Now what?"

"We came all this way after all this time, fought zeds and rednecks and ate countless cans of vegetables only to fail because of a fucking key?"

He sat up and put his hands on his hips. "Well Miss Smart Ass, what would you suggest we do? Find another boat? It'll be a lot fucking harder to siphon the gas out of a boat than it was out of cars."

I groaned and pushed myself up. "Move."

He blinked, surprised. "What? What are you going to do?"

"I'm gonna hotwire it."

"Can you hotwire a boat?"

"We're about to find out. Move."

He obliged me and I squatted down, pulling the panel off and studying the wires. I could do this. Finally, I could be useful. I set to work, moving slower than I normally would from exhaustion and illness.

"B, I don't mean to sound pushy or anything, but there are some zeds heading this way. It'd be good if you could do that sooner rather than later."

I nodded and shook my head slightly to help clear the haze. I was trying to remember which two wires to twist together when I heard a sickening squelching sound.

"Faster, B," Edward shouted as I heard the unmistakable sound of aluminum bat versus zombified skull. I swallowed hard as the gore sprayed on me and twisted the wires, praying it was right. The engine roared to life and I sat up, grabbing the controller that looked right and pushed it forward hard.

The boat rocketed out of the slip, making Edward loose his footing and go down hard. Unfortunately, a zed fell into the boat on top of him.

I screamed and turned around, kicking at it with my foot for lack of anything better. My foot connected miraculously and went in, the body going limp but the skull stuck to my foot. I stared at it in horror, then threw up all over myself, the zed, and Edward.

I stared at the mess in horror while Edward acted. He shoved the body off of him and me, then stood up and grabbed the controller, slowing the boat down to a reasonable speed before stopping it completely. He first carefully tossed the body into the water then grabbed me and pulled me close.

"Nice one, kid."

I gave him a wobbly laugh. "Sorry I threw up on you."

"I'm just surprised you hadn't done it sooner."

I nodded and wiped at my eyes. "Still wanna have sex with me?"

He grinned and grabbed a t-shirt from a nearby pile, pulling my dirty one off and the clean one on. "Baby, I'm gonna fuck your brains out when we get there. Well, when you're well."

I laughed softly. He settled me back in my chair, then used our dirty shirts to mop up the mess on the deck. He tossed them overboard and pulled on a clean shirt.

"Ready?"

I nodded and smiled at him bravely. Here went nothing.

***

Tali: Quick note. This was the original ending. Thank ktdcee for insisting I write more. I'm not sure I love the rest of it, though there are a couple scenes that I adore.


	7. Chapter 7: New Arrivals

I hung on tightly to my chair as the boat hit some swells. My stomach lurched but I kept what little was left in my stomach down. The spray was icy and I shivered when it hit me. Edward didn't even flinch. He was staring ahead at the quickly approaching island, his hair quickly becoming soaked from the spray. His jaw was tense and his knuckles were white on the controls.

I turned my attention to the island, my heart in my throat. It was bigger than I'd first though, easily large enough to host a small community. It looked pretty much uninhabited, though. I could see what looked like a few buildings on a hill overlooking the water but they were dark and somewhat hidden in the vegetation.

The boat started to slow as we got closer to an old looking dock. There were a few battered buoys tied to it to buffer the boats that were already tied up there but there was space for other boats. He tensed when he saw the boats.

"I don't recognize those boats."

I nervously licked my lips and nodded. "So now what?"

He shook his head. "I'm not sure. You want to stay here and guard the boat?"

"Fuck no."

"Ok."

He disappeared below the deck for a moment, returning with two rifles. He handed one to me before jumping out and loosely tying the boat to the dock. He offered me his hand and helped me out of the boat and onto the dock. I was shivering as we started walking.

"You know, just because I'm from Texas doesn't mean I know how to use this thing," I muttered, my teeth chattering.

"It's not for you, it's for me. You'll be reloading while I'm shooting if need be."

"Oh."

"Stop." We froze, looking around for the source of the voice. "Who are you?"

"I'm Edward. My parents own this island. I'm looking for them."

There was a long silence then we could hear rustling branches. A moment later, a big beefy man dressed in what looked like old army fatigues stepped out of the brush on a small ledge above us. He was carrying a bow and arrow and I would have laughed if he didn't look like he could kill me with his pinky. He dropped down onto the path in front of us, slinging the bow over his shoulder.

"Give me your guns."

"I don't think so."

"You'll get no further with them."

"I'll wait here if you'll go get my family."

They stared at each other, clearly sizing one another up. I sneezed, breaking their little fight.

"Bless you," muttered the man. He turned to Edward again. "Wait here."

He didn't wait for our response before he turned and disappeared around the corner. Edward turned to me, his face pale with anger and anxiety. I reached forward and squeezed his hand before leaning against the hill that the man had been standing on.

"How long do you think he'll be gone?" I murmured, my voice hoarse.

"Not long. My parents only had buildings built on this half of the building last I heard. There are just gardens and shit on the other side."

"Last you heard?"

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, shaking some of the water out of it. "I didn't exactly leave for the West Coast on the best of terms."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "So, what, you're telling me you haven't spoken to your parents in years or what?"

"Something like that." He stared up the path at the way the man had gone.

"Fuck, Edward," I sighed, staring at the ground. "So, not only were you pissed at them, they were pissed at you and you haven't spoken in how long?"

"Ten years. Well, until two years ago."

"I hate you right now."

"I know."

I looked up at him then, exhausted and past the point of caring anymore. I was tired of fighting all the time. I was tired of being cold and stinky and dirty and scared all the time. I pushed myself up and crossed the small space between us and pulled him into a hug, pressing my face against his chest. His arms tightened around me automatically and he kissed the top of my head.

"Well, what do we do if they send us away?"

"I don't know."

I nodded and turned my head, staring up the path, waiting.

We didn't have to wait long. About ten minutes after GI Joe disappeared up the path, we could hear footsteps moving towards us quickly. Edward released me and quickly pushed me behind him, shielding me from whoever was coming.

"Edward!" a woman shouted. There was a catch to her voice that spoke volumes about love and regret and fear and relief. A moment later, he staggered backwards into me slightly as a woman threw her arms around him. He dropped the rifle he was holding and held her back. I stepped back further as three men gathered around the two of them, all hugging and laughing and crying and talking over each other. GI Joe and I looked at each other uncomfortably for a moment.

"And you," the woman turned to me, tears streaming down her face "you must be Tanya. I wish…well, no time for regrets now." She pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. "I'm Esme."

"Hi…I'm not Tanya."

She stepped back from me with surprise. "No?"

"No, Mom," Edward stepped over and stood beside me. "This is B. I found her on the side of the road outside of Phoenix. We've been traveling together for a few months now."

"And Tanya?"

"She's dead."

"The baby?"

"Dead."

"Oh sweetie." She pulled him back into a hug and he sighed softly. I could see the struggle in his face as he debated what to tell her. He finally just let her hold him and attempt to comfort him.

She pulled back after a moment and smile. "Well, come in out of the wet. We've got the main house for our family and there's other's who've joined us."

"I noticed. Any vehicles?"

"Yes, but we only use them for emergencies, not that we have many."

"We've got an RV's worth of supplies on our boat."

"Supplies?"

GI Joe perked up at that. "What kind of supplies?"

"Pretty much anything and everything. Food, water, camping and fishing gear, clothes, toiletries, medicines, anything and everything we could fit inside. Gas, too."

It was like Christmas had come early. The men quickly started making arrangements to go get everything. Esme clearly wanted to keep him in her sights, but the sheer relief at just seeing him again was outweighing everything.

"Before we do anything, though," GI Joe said suddenly "we need to check them over."

"They don't…"

"No, they do, Esme," Edward's dad said quietly. "Everyone does."

"What do you need us to do?" I asked quietly.

"Strip down."

I nodded and shakily pulled my t-shirt up and off, handing it to Esme. She flushed. "You can go behind a bush, sweetie, and I'll check."

"It's fine," I mumbled. "I'll keep my underwear on."

She glanced at Edward who grinned dryly as he pulled his own t-shirt off. I plopped down on the ground and pulled off my shoes and socks, then stood up and unbuttoned my pants, pushing them down and stepping out of them. Edward did the same thing, shivering in the cold air. We stood, hugging ourselves as the others scrutinized our bodies, looking for bite marks. I turned my back at one point and pulled off my bra, letting Esme inspect my breasts. Her brow furrowed at the still fading finger sized bruises on my breasts.

"Zombie attack a week ago," I muttered. "He was a breast man apparently."

She looked up at me, startled. "You didn't get bitten, even though he had your breasts in his hands?"

"We're careful," I managed through my chattering teeth.

She nodded and handed me my shirt back. I pulled it back on grateful for the little bit of warmth that it provided. I pulled my pants back on and jammed my feet back into my boots without bothering with socks. I sneezed again and Edward shot me a worried look. One that was not missed by Esme.

"Are you alright?"

I nodded. "Fine, just a little cold or something. I think just sleeping will cure everything."

"Well, then come with me. We'll let the men unload while you get something hot inside you."

I glanced over my shoulder at Edward anxiously. He didn't see me as he retied his boots, talking logistics with the others.

"You'll be fine, I promise, though I can't guarantee the girls won't be thrilled to see you."

"Girls?"

"Edward's sisters-in-law. I'm sure he told you about them."

"We didn't talk much in detail about family. It was easier that way."

She nodded and slipped her arm around my waist as we walked. I leaned against her tiredly, reveling in her warmth and strength. She smelled good and she was comfortable in a way only women could be.

It didn't take long to walk up the path to the buildings we'd seen from the water. There were several of them, more than I had realized.

"Back in the 30's, a cult lived here," she explained as I looked around. "My mother was actually born on this island and her family left when she was 10. Carlisle and I bought the island in the 80's and spent some time getting the buildings updated and renovated. We spent nearly every summer here when the boys were growing up."

I nodded and looked around some more. There was a large main building in the middle with the other buildings surrounding it. Most of them had some kind of signage like School, Hospital, Cafeteria, Laundry and Bunkhouse. There were lots of bunkhouses.

Esme led me to the main building. It was three stories tall and looked ancient but surprisingly well-maintained. We went up the steps and she turned me for a moment. "Look at that view."

I had to admit, it was amazing. Before us the ground kind of fell away and there was a brilliant view of the ocean and Portland in the distance.

"I sit out here and drink my coffee every morning," she said softly. "Or…I did when we had coffee."

"Maybe someday you will again," I offered. "I wouldn't be surprised if Edward has some stashed on the boat."

She chuckled and pulled me inside the house.

It was warm and cozy and full of laughter and light and people. There were two women sitting in chairs in front of a large fireplace and about five children scattered around the room doing various things. Two older boys were sitting at a table doing what looked like some schoolwork, a little girl was stretched out on a couch with a book, and two toddlers were playing with toys in front of the women. Everyone looked up when we stepped in.

"Everyone, this is B. B, this is everyone." Esme beamed. "She's with Edward."

"So it was him?" asked one of the women excitedly, putting the sewing she was working on down beside her in the chair.

Esme nodded, covering her face and bursting into tears. I jumped, startled, at the sobs suddenly emanating from her. The woman jumped up and came over, wrapping her arms around Esme and hugging her, laughing.

"Esme, its fine, he's safe now that he's here."

Esme nodded and wiped her eyes. "I know, but after ten years of not knowing…" She stopped and shook herself. "Well. We have a new family member." She turned back to me and smiled. "This is Alice, Jasper's wife."

I smiled and allowed the woman to hug me tightly.

"Those are her two boys at the table, Bobby and Josh and her daughter Lizbet is on the floor there with James."

I was quickly introduced to everyone else. The other woman was Rosalie, the wife of Edward's other brother Emmett, and their children were the girl reading, Sally, and the toddler playing with Lizbet, James. I was given a brief tour of the house. The downstairs had a large common room and a couple of smaller rooms off the sides of it, one a kitchen, the others rooms that had been converted into bedrooms. The second and third floors were pretty exclusively bedrooms, with an attic above that for storage. It looked as though the three boys shared a room on the first floor, the girls were together on the second, one set of parents on each and Carlisle and Esme on the third. There were empty rooms not occupied by their family but obviously kept in case someone needed them.

"This was always Edward's room," Esme said proudly, opening the door to a room on the third floor. There was a double bed against one wall, bookshelves jammed full of books along the others, and huge windows overlooking the ocean view from the front of the house on the fourth. I noted with relief it was one of the few rooms with a fireplace. Hopefully that meant we could be warm.

I walked over to it and looked out. It had started to rain again, making everything look hazy and blurred. I could see a small trail of people carrying stuff up from the docks.

"I assume you'll be wanting to stay with him?"

I nodded, not turning around.

"I don't judge my sons behavior. Not anymore. Just…be careful. We're not ready to start bringing children into the world around here."

I nodded again. I turned then and smiled at her tiredly. "We have all kinds of preventative things on the boat. Some for everyone."

She visibly relaxed. "Would you like a bath, B?"

I laughed softly and nodded. "So much."

"We have a bathroom up here. We can't get the water terribly hot, but we can at least warm it up."

"I've had cold showers for the last two years, a lukewarm bath isn't going to bother me."

She laughed and nodded. She gave me another hug and then disappeared. I sank down on the bed then and closed my eyes. We were here and we were safe.

I was on the verge of drifting off to sleep when there was a soft tap at the door. I opened my eyes and sat up.

"Come in."

Esme stuck her head in, a tentative smile on her lips. "I've got the bath ready."

"Great, thanks." I pushed myself off of the bed and followed her down the dark hallway to the bathroom. I nearly cried with relief when I saw the large tub full or warm fragrant water.

"The shower's iffy, so we just generally use the tub. The plumbing all feeds off the little river through the island, so it's salt water. We have some collection tanks set up for rain water that we use for drinking so if you get thirsty just ask someone."

I nodded tiredly, eyeing the bathtub greedily while she kept on talking. She finally left, a small pile of towels sitting on the toilet. I stripped down quickly and settled in the tub.

The bath rivaled the awesomeness of the shower last week. It felt like it had been longer ago than that but that was it. One week. Plus, this time around, I was pretty sure I wasn't going to get attacked by zeds. Granted, I might not get pressed up against Edward naked in a shower, but that was really the only thing that didn't push this bath over the edge into epicness.

I nearly drifted off as I sat and soaked, a huge sneeze waking me up. I laughed softly at myself and sat forward, grabbing the bar of soap and a washcloth and scrubbing myself clean. I dipped my head back and washed my hair. I wished I had a razor, but only a week gone since shaving wasn't that bad, actually. I could definitely deal with it.

When I was as clean as I was going to get, I climbed out of the bath, pulling the stopper to drain it. The water that went down the drain was definitely brown with traces of red. I grimaced a bit at the fact that all that dirt and gore had been on me. I wrapped up in towels and gathered my dirty clothes in my arms before padding down the hallway to Edward's room.

I grinned happily when I saw that someone had started the fire in the fireplace. I dropped my clothes in a heap on the floor and crawled into the bed on the side nearest the fireplace, too tired to bother with the neatly folded clothing on the dresser. I left the towels wrapped around me and snuggled down under the worn blankets on the bed, closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep almost immediately.

I woke up slightly when I felt the mattress sag behind me and a warm damp body press up against my back. I shifted backwards towards it, recognizing Edward's body in an instant.

"Everything ok?" I mumbled sleepily.

"For now. Sleep."

I rolled over and snuggled close, the towel on my hair dropping to the floor. Edward's arms circled me and I automatically hitched a leg over his, pulling him ever closer.

"You're naked," he muttered, sounding vaguely surprised.

"I was too tired to get dressed."

He laughed softly and stroked my damp hair. "I wish you were well."

"Me too." I pressed a kiss against his bare chest and closed my eyes, dropping back to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8: Introductions

The next few days passed by in a bit of a haze. I slept, I shuffled back and forth to the bathroom, I sat up and slurped down hot soup whenever Edward or one of the women in his family brought it to me. The first morning, Edward helped me into the clean clothes on the dresser, winking at me as he left and leaving me thoroughly embarrassed and flattered. It was nice to have a man looking at me like that again – a bit predatory with the underlying affection. Also known as lust. I hadn't seen it in a way that didn't turn my stomach in ages.

About a week after we arrived on the island, I woke up one evening and felt better. Starving, even. I carefully made my way downstairs, gripping the banister on the steep stairs as I went. I was shaky and lightheaded. I could hear a low rumble of voices as I got to the bottom and I paused, looking through the low light to the group of people gathered in front of the fireplace.

"We can make it, you're just being pessimistic Edward," someone was saying hotly. "You haven't been here for more than a week and you think you can just waltz in and take charge? Fuck you!"

"Emmett," Esme said sharply "there are children…"

"Enough, Mom, you don't think they hear shit like that every day? I won't sit back and let you all fawn over him and put him in fucking charge in some attempt to make him happy and keep him from leaving."

"Where the fuck do you think I would go?" demanded Edward angrily. "In case you missed it, there's nowhere _to_ go. I've been out there, I've driven across the whole damn country and there's nothing there but zeds and death. Death either from zeds or starvation or other fucking survivors who'd kill you for the goddamn shoes on your feet. I'm not interested in taking over anything; I just want to be somewhere safe where I don't have to carry a rifle whenever I want to take a leak. Fuck you Emmett, if there was anywhere else for me to go, believe me, I'd be there."

"What about B?"

"What about her?" His voice was tense.

"You haven't told us much about her other than the fact that you picked her up in Phoenix and you've been traveling together. Is her family dead? How old is she? What do you know about her, really?"

"About as much as I know about him."

Everyone turned, surprised, as I entered the room then. I walked over and sat next to Edward boldly. "We didn't share much about our pasts because it's easier to lose someone if you don't care about them. I have no secrets, though. Ask me anything you want."

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"So you never finished school."

"Kind of hard when you're on the run from zeds. Some of whom used to be your teachers."

"How far did you get?"

"The infection hit in the middle of my sophomore year."

Lips pursed around the room and I stiffened. Edward's arms around me tightened. He and I didn't have a problem with the age difference and it frankly irritated me that it bothered them.

"If you don't approve, we'll move out, move into one of the bunkhouses."

"They're all occupied."

"So we'll figure something out."

"Enough!" shouted Esme then. She'd been silent for a while but was now standing, shaking with anger. "Enough. Just…enough. Edward, you and B are fine. Stay here with us. Eventually everything will get back to normal and we can work on being a family again."

"I'm not sure that'll happen, Mom." Edward's voice was so soft and sad and with such a note of finality in it my chest ached. Whatever had happened between them seemed to have caused irreparable damage.

Esme's eyes filled with tears but she nodded and looked away. Carlisle put his arm around her shoulders and looked at Edward sadly.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," I said finally. "I woke up and was actually starving so I thought I might come see what there is in the way of food."

"We don't have much," apologized Rosalie, jumping up then. "I could make you some toast and eggs if you'd like."

I stared at her. "You have bread and eggs?"

She nodded. "Part of the island is a working farm. Didn't Edward tell you? We've got pigs, cows and chickens."

"Oh my god I've died and gone to heaven."

There was a low rumble of laughter. Edward shifted me forward gently and stood up. "I'll fix her something to eat if you want to go to bed. It's late, I know."

That seemed to be the signal. Everyone stood up and mumbled their good nights before disappearing off to their rooms. Edward pulled me into the kitchen and set me at the large scrubbed oak table.

"Two eggs enough?"

"I could eat more."

He grinned and pulled a bowl of eggs down from a shelf, grabbing two before setting the bowl back on the shelf. "Two is all you should eat. You've been sick for a while."

"Spoilsport."

He grinned and motioned to a loaf of bread nearby. "Slice yourself some bread. There's some butter in the cold storage over there." He motioned to a small hatch in the floor.

I nodded and stood up, pulling open the hatch and pulling out a small bottle of milk that I passed to him and then a small crock of butter. He handed me a knife and I stood beside him companionably, cutting thick slices of the bread.

"This shit could have mold on it and I'd eat it," I commented. "Salmonella and all that."

He laughed softly. "Yeah, anything is good after canned food for two years."

I nodded, slathering butter on the bread and holding it up. He took a bite and smiled as I took one, too. He was whisking the eggs in a bowl with a fork, waiting for a skillet over the low burning embers to heat up.

We were quiet while he cooked the eggs and I ate the bread greedily. He finally scraped the cooked eggs onto a plate and set it down in front of me. I dug in hungrily and he smiled, moving around the kitchen while I ate, cleaning up and putting things away.

"So what's been going on while I've been out?"

"Sorting the shit we brought with us, distributing some of the things."

I nodded. "That took what, one day?"

He grinned and settled across from me, watching me eat. Normally that would piss me off but I was too excited about real food to care. "Yeah, then they showed me around the island, what they've done."

"Which is?"

"The farm is running well. Lots of animals, which is needed to feed everyone here. They've essentially stripped out the flower gardens and expanded the vegetable gardens. They've expanded the water collection systems and built a few more buildings for shit. Once in a while, they make a run to the mainland to get whatever supplies they can find."

"How many people are here?"

"Besides my family, there's the caretaker and his family, another family with teenage children, an elderly couple, and the soldiers. They were in Portland trying to control the zeds before anyone figured out what the fuck was going on and ended up out here."

"How many bunkhouses are there?"

"Four. One for the men soldiers, one for the women, one for the family with teenagers and one is being used for storage for now. The caretaker and his family have a house and the elderly couple is living with the family."

I nodded and looked down at my empty plate. I could still eat, but knew I shouldn't. It had been way too long since I'd had real food and I didn't want to get sick. Edward took my plate and washed it then turned and held out his hand.

"Ready for bed?"

I nodded and let him lead me up the dark steps and down the hallway. As we passed rooms, I could hear the quiet murmur of voices and the unmistakable squeak of bed springs. Edward grimaced and pulled me more quickly down the hallway. I laughed softly as he pulled me into our room and shut the door.

"I picked this room because it's the farthest away from all the others. I couldn't hear my parents having sex or my brothers jacking off in this room."

"Sounds like great childhood memories."

He shook his head, a hint of a smile on his face visible from the faint moonlight coming in through the window. "They weren't all bad."

"What happened?"

"Not tonight, B."

"Alright." I turned away from him, crawling back into the bed on my side. I was still exhausted. I hadn't really slept in two years. I didn't feel that bad about sleeping a lot right now.

"Are you upset?"

"A little."

He sighed and pulled me over to him, rolling me onto my back. "I'm sorry. I'm just riled up about what happened today and I just want to sleep and forget about it."

"Riled up?" I teased.

He grinned. "Sue me, I'm old."

"No more lawyers, can't sue."

"Then you're just shit out of luck."

"Poor me." I reached one hand up and threaded my fingers through his hair, rubbing his scalp in a way I knew he liked. He moaned softly, shifting closer to me. "You know something great about living in the AZ?"

"What's that?"

"No more of that shit they told us wasn't there anymore."

"What are you talking about?" he shifted down on the bed and nestled his face against my neck.

"Pluto, indigo, the fucking food pyramid, all that."

"You're insane, you know that?"

I laughed and kissed his forehead. "So you liked the new stupid ass pyramid they came out with a few years before the infection?"

"No, but…why are we even having this discussion?"

"It calms you down to talk about trivial stuff."

He lifted his head and looked at me, surprised. "Really."

"Yes. You think I enjoyed rehashing movies and books and all the shit we missed every night for six months? I figured out pretty quickly that normal boring shit calms you when everything else is fucked. So, I'm helping."

"Wow."

"Yup."

"Don't freak out, but I may love you for that."

I grinned, a warmth spreading through me at that. "I may love you, too, for standing up for me and for the eggs. And for not freaking out when I puked on you."

"It's the little things really." He laid his head back down, kissing my neck. I held him and closed my eyes. This was my favorite thing right now.

We hadn't exactly said it, but the words we'd been dancing around for ages were out there now. The emotions were expressed and I knew he felt it and he knew I felt it. Now, in the AZ, there wasn't a need to say it. I was honestly a little scared to say it. It was dangerous to get too close to people now. There was always something that could happen. Maybe it was better if those words were left a little ambiguous…or as ambiguous as they were now.


	9. Chapter 9: Messing Up

The next morning, for the first time since we'd arrived on the island, I woke up next to Edward. The sun was streaming through the windows and the air outside the blankets was cool. Edward was holding me against his chest, one hand down the front of my loose pants. I smiled at that. Acclimation.

I hadn't said anything to him, but the idea of sex at the same time excited and terrified me. His hand resting against me was comforting, though, his body against mine sheltering and soothing. I could feel a morning erection pressing against my back and I bit my lip, debating the wisdom of shifting my hips a bit.

He shifted against me instead, pressing harder against me and moving his hand and rubbing against my bare skin.

"Are you awake?" I whispered.

"Yes. Are you?"

I laughed softly and nodded. He moved his hand in my pants and gently rolled me so I was facing him. He kissed me softly and I sighed, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Edward, I'm not sure."

He nodded, still kissing me. His mouth moved along my jaw and down my neck. "There's no rush, B. I may get blue balls, but there's no rush."

I laughed softly and shifted some. "I think we need to do acclimation stuff. Get me used to you."

"What does that mean?"

"Naked spooning?"

He pulled back from me then, looking surprised. "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

He studied me for a moment and then shook his head, laughing softly. "You never cease to amaze and surprise me." He pulled away completely and lifted his hips, shimmying out of the loose pants he was wearing and tossing them over the side. I raised my eyebrows as I realized now that he was wearing scrubs.

"Why scrubs?" I asked, pulling off my own clothes in a similar manner.

"It's all they had. They raided a hospital for medical supplies and ended up taking all the sheets and towels and scrubs."

"What about all the shit we brought?"

"I was too tired to get something out of that pile and the scrubs were handy."

I chuckled. "Laziness for the win."

I shifted backwards towards him. He was still aroused so we aligned our bodies so he wasn't uncomfortable but was still in contact with my body. My heart rate picked up slightly when the head of his penis brushed against sensitive skin. He wrapped his arm around me, holding me close to his chest.

"Is this ok?" He sounded slightly anxious.

"It's fine. Just give me a second."

I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths. After a long moment, I felt better. I shifted slightly and he groaned softly.

"Sorry."

"Don't be." His breathing was ragged. "I may need to apologize in a second, though."

I blushed and pulled away from him, sitting up.

"Shit, sorry, B. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"No, its fine." I turned on the bed and studied him. I pushed him onto his back and swung my leg over his, sitting on his thighs, his penis standing tall and against my lower body.

"Fuck, B, what happened to acclimation?" he gasped as I braced a hand on either side of his chest and lifted my hips.

"I've never been very patient," I admitted. "I figured the best way to learn was by throwing myself into anything." I wiggled my hips slightly, aligning our bodies. I slowly lowered mine onto his and he groaned, his eyes fluttering shut. I stopped when I was sitting on him, his body fully in mine. His hands were gripping my hips tightly at this point, so tightly I was sure he'd be leaving marks. I sat still, letting my body adjust to his.

I sat for a long time, his grip tightening the longer I was still.

"If you don't move I'm going to go insane," he finally gasped.

I smiled and leaned forward, my lips brushing against his. "Tell me what happened with your family."

His eyes were black and he narrowed them at me. "Low blow."

"I'll move if you talk."

"I'm not sure both are possible simultaneously."

"So talk, then I'll move."

He groaned and closed his eyes. "Fine."

I moved my hips slowly and slightly and he panted softly for a moment before licking his lips and kissing me lightly. I sat up and looked at him expectantly.

"When I was about your age, I got a girl pregnant. She came to me, freaking out about what we were going to do. I was actually kind of excited because…" he closed his eyes and moaned softly as I ground against him a bit harder. "Fuck."

I grinned. "Keep talking."

He nodded and took a deep breath. "I was excited because I love kids and wanted like, a million of them. I told her I'd marry her and take care of the baby and her."

"Tanya?"

He shook his head, his hands pulling desperately on my hips in a futile attempt to move me faster. "Her name was Veronica. Anyway, my parents decided having a grandchild by their teenage son was not in their best interest so they paid her off. She moved away and had an abortion. When I found out, I left. I didn't speak to them again until I heard about the infection. As pissed as I still was, they're family, you know?"

I nodded and moved harder, increasing my speed now that I'd heard the story. I'd have been pissed and honestly, I wasn't sure I'd have forgiven them myself. Of course, I was a girl so I would have been the one sent away and paid off.

I was lost in my thoughts when Edward suddenly jerked me off his body and rolled away from me, groaning loudly as he finished. I lay on the bed, confused for a moment.

"Edward?"

"Can't risk a pregnancy right now and you didn't exactly give me warning so I could get a condom."

"Oh." I sat up and looked over at the mess he'd made. "You get to wash the sheets."

He laughed softly and collapsed on his back, pulling me down with him. "Fine. But in the future you have to give me a heads up."

I tangled my legs with his and nodded. "Definitely. Next time I might end up on the floor."

He laughed softly and lightly traced his fingers up and down my arm. We lay in silence for a while, basking in the bit of afterglow we had.

"Shouldn't we be doing something?" I asked finally. "It doesn't seem like the kind of place that lets people just…chill."

"Yeah, everyone has a job. Animal tending, teaching, cleaning, cooking, plants, lookout. I've been chipping in wherever I was needed."

I nodded. "What do you think they'll have me do?"

"Probably something domestic. They seem to think you'd be into that shit."

I laughed and propped myself up, looking at him. "And you don't think I would be?"

He shrugged. "You don't strike me as Suzy Homemaker, no offense."

"None taken. I'm a lousy cook and I always managed to fuck up the laundry when I had a machine. I can't imagine how good I'll be at beating it on rocks or whatever the fuck they're doing here."

He laughed again. "They've got tubs and wringers and shit."

I lay back down and sighed softly. "So what's the future got for us, Edward?"

"Dunno."

"You know, I don't know your last name."

"Well I don't even know your first name, so I feel like you're one up on me."

I sighed again and kissed his chest, rolling away. "Maybe that's better for now. Who knows, maybe you'll find some woman who's perfect for you that your family approves of and is closer to your age with a wonderful name like…Jacqueline."

He laughed. "Jacqueline?"

"Yeah, Jackie O? You could be her Jack and you could have a storybook Cape Cod romance like the Kennedys."

"You realize he was a cheating asshole, right? And she was paid to stay with him?"

"Details." I didn't roll back over to face him. Truth be told, I was afraid that even with the drastically reduced human population, he'd find someone better. Someone with a high school diploma and useful skills.

"B, what's going on?"

I sighed and sat up, facing away from him. "It's late, we should get dressed and go downstairs and be sociable. Plus you need to wash the sheets." I stood up but he reached out and grabbed my wrist.

"Talk to me."

"I've got to pee." I pulled my arm out of his grasp and pulled on my clothes. I knew my sudden mood swing didn't make sense but I wasn't in a great mindset to try to figure it out. I hurried out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom, fighting back tears. It was best to not get close. I knew that and here I'd let myself do just that.

I sat on the toilet and hugged my chest, fighting against the gaping hole I'd just punched into it. I was talented, I tell you. Good at fucking up my life when I didn't even want to.

I waited about ten minutes before going back into the room and pulling on shoes and socks and then heading downstairs. The kids were spread around the room doing what looked like schoolwork. I could hear voices in the kitchen so I followed them. Edward was in there with Esme and an older woman I didn't recognize.

"B, nice to see you up and around," Esme beamed at me. "This is Mrs. Clearwater, our teacher."

The old woman stood up and held out her hand. "Please, call me Sue," she smiled. She was exactly what you would think a retired teacher would look like, short, plump, glasses and white hair. She looked like everyone's favorite grandmother. I had a sudden urge to curl up in her lap and tell her all my problems.

"Alright Sue," I smiled hesitantly, shaking her wrinkled hand. It was soft and frail. I turned to Esme, pointedly ignoring Edward. "What can I do to help? I understand that everyone needs to pull their weight around here and I'm ready to start hauling."

She smiled. "Oh, you've been sick, no one thinks anything less of you. Even now if you want to just take on babysitting duty we'd all understand."

"How many kids are there?" I asked curiously, looking back towards the big common room. There seemed to be more kids than there had been when we'd first arrived. In fact, I was pretty sure that four of those kids hadn't been there before. And two of them looked close to my age.

"Well, there's our five, then the caretakers' two grandchildren and then the Black' three kids. Though you won't have to take care of Jake, since he's working with the men, or Rachel since she's 17. She normally keeps an eye on the kids but she's trying to focus on her school work these days."

My head was swimming with trying to keep up with everyone. I knew there couldn't be more than a couple of dozen people on the island but still. It was easier to remember one person over a bunch.

"I'm up for whatever, though I should warn you I'm not great at domestic chores. My mom banished me from doing laundry after I ruined all of my dad's work shirts twice and I wasn't allowed to cook when I somehow caught the flat top stove on fire." I grinned, hoping she'd see that I wasn't upset about it all but she and Sue were staring at me in shock.

"I'm good with kids, really. I babysat all the time before. Plus, I'm not bad with lawn equipment. My mom had a pitiful attempt at a vegetable garden."

"Well, then that's where we'll put you." Esme looked relieved at finally having a spot for me.

Edward stood up then, handing his mother his empty plate and glass. "Thanks for breakfast. I'll be back later."

She nodded and smiled as he headed out the door. He paused beside me and looked down at me. "We _will_ talk later, B."

I gritted my teeth and looked away. Not if I had anything to do with it.


	10. Chapter 10: Confessions

I spent the rest of the afternoon with the kids. I really loved the two toddlers I was in primary care of, Lizbet and James. The two eight year olds, James' older sister Sally and the caretaker's granddaughter Claire, were shyly sweet and came over to help me with the kids when they got done with their schoolwork. Eleven year old Josh and twelve year old Rebecca were desperately trying to fit in with the older boy and girl, Bobby and Rachel, who couldn't have cared less. Bobby was sullen about not being able to help out the men and Rachel was sullen about not being able to be in a real school. You'd think after two years she'd have figured out there was no such thing as a real school anymore.

As dusk was falling, the parents were returning. A tired looking woman in her early thirties came and collected the non-family children and they headed out without much talking. I jumped when Rosalie settled next to me on the couch, offering me a glass of water. James was fast asleep in my arms, his mouth hanging open.

"So, are you figuring everyone out yet?"

I laughed and shook my head. "I'm just trying to figure out the kids, to be honest. I might need a diagram."

She chuckled and stretched out her legs in front of her. "It does take some time. Other than our family, there's the caretakers and their son and his family and then the soldiers and the two families they brought with them. I'm a little concerned the ecology of the island won't be able to fully support all of us."

I blinked. "Ecology?"

"The ecosystem here. I'm afraid that we'll kill the land since we can't afford to let it lay fallow and give it time to regenerate the necessary nutrients."

I stared at her blankly for a long moment. "Um…ok."

She sighed and sat back, clearly missing that I was confused. Alice came in then, Lizbet on her hip, and eased into a chair in front of the fireplace.

"So how were they today?"

"Not bad, but then I don't know how they are normally."

She smiled and combed her fingers through Lizbet's tangled curls. "They're not too bad normally. Somewhat excitable."

I nodded and shifted James slightly. He curled into me and started sucking his thumb. "Well, they were pretty mellow. We colored and played. Maybe next time we go on a raid we can find them some new crayons."

"That'd be nice. We'll have to put it on a list."

Rosalie got up then and disappeared into the kitchen. I could smell food cooking and noticed then that Sally had disappeared and the boys had cleared their schoolwork off the table and were setting it with plates.

"Does everyone eat together here?"

"No just the family occasionally. Really, we usually eat with everyone else in the cafeteria but the past week Mom's been too excited about Edward being here we've been eating here together since you arrived."

"Oh. So when do I meet everyone else?"

She laughed and shifted Lizbet. "Soon enough. Seth's been talking about you to the others, so they're all curious."

"Seth?"

"The soldier who met you two at the docks. He's a real sweetheart."

"Tell me about everyone."

She grinned and obliged me. The soldiers were Seth, Paul, Embry, Jared, Angela, Emily, and Leah and their leader Sam. They were all in their twenties and thirties except for Sam who was in his forties. They were from all across the country and had lost everyone in their families and their platoon, at least as far as they knew. They were certain about the other soldiers but not as much about their families. No one had been heard from since a few weeks after the infection had become more widespread.

The island's caretakers were an older couple, the Crowleys. They'd been hired a few years before the infection to keep an eye on the island. At the time, it was predominantly making sure nothing fell into too much disrepair and to stock the pantry whenever the family was coming. When the infection hit, they'd had enough forethought to stockpile the last few times they'd gone shopping and so had had a head start on the insanities. They'd called their son, Tyler, and his wife, the tired woman I'd seen earlier, Lauren. They'd come with their daughter Claire and hadn't left since. They'd had another child, a little boy, who'd gotten sick and died. He was buried in the old graveyard from the cult's days on the island.

The other family, the Blacks, had been vacationing in Maine, up from Boston, when the infection hit. They'd tried to go home to check on their friends and family but the soldiers found them stranded on the side of the road a few miles south of Portland and had brought them back with them. Billy and Sarah were quiet, hard working and helpful. Their son Jake was a lot like his father and their daughter Rachel was the teen I'd seen working hard. Their other daughter was Rebecca, the one determined to be treated like an adult.

The Clearwater's story was much the same: found by the soldiers in an attempt to reach family. No one had heard from anyone. A few times they'd tried to help people when they'd gone into town, but were never successful. They were lucky to just get back with themselves, most of the time.

By the time Alice was finished talking, dinner was ready and the men had returned. They all smelled of sweat and dirt and sunshine. It was oddly arousing. Edward caught my eye and I quickly looked away. I stood up, holding James awkwardly.

"Rosalie, should I wake him for dinner or put him down?"

"Oh, wake him for sure. If he doesn't eat now he'll wake up hungry in the middle of the night."

I nodded and shifted James in my arms. "Sweetie, time to wake up," I said softly, rubbing his back clumsily. He frowned, his face scrunching up adorably.

"No."

I laughed and sat back down, sitting him in my lap. He was warm and soft and fairly limp. "Sorry kiddo, it's time to wake up for dinner. It smells really good."

"Don't wanna."

"I know. I hate waking up, too, but I promise you can go back to sleep after, ok?"

He whined but opened his eyes. He blinked at me slowly. "Kay."

I grinned and stood up again, sitting him on my hip and walking to the table. Emmett smiled at me appreciatively and reached for his son. "Thanks."

"No problem. He's a cute kid."

He nodded and kissed James' temple affectionately. "He really is."

Everyone crowded around the table then, taking their places. It was loud and crazy as the bowls of food were passed around. It looked like a lot of canned foods again, and some fresh to balance it. I could see Rosalie's concerns as I watched the men wolf down their servings. It was a little frightening to think about the amount of food needed to feed all the people on the island.

"Tomorrow's the first of the month," Jasper said around a mouthful of mashed cauliflower. "I say we get up early and go first thing."

"Sounds good to me," Emmett agreed, shoveling in some ham. "I'll go tell the men, see what they have to say about it."

"Where are you going?" I asked curiously, nibbling on my own cauliflower.

"Into the city, see if we can get some more supplies."

"Oh. Is that an all day thing then?"

"Typically. After two years, we're having to branch out into some nearby cities. It's hard to find stuff."

I nodded and took another small bite. My mind was racing. The others were talking about what they'd been doing during the day, the men describing the clearing of another area of the island for more planting and the tending of the animals.

"I want to go," I blurted out, surprising even me.

Everyone looked at me with surprise.

"What?" Jasper finally asked.

"I want to go," I repeated. "Tomorrow. I want to go. I want to help. I can be helpful in a pinch. I rarely get caught off-guard and I'm lethal with a bat."

"B, no," Edward said quietly. "You're staying here."

"I want to go," I repeated again. "Think about it. I have no family like Jasper or Emmett. If I die, no one will miss me."

"I'd miss you," Edward muttered, stabbing at the piece of ham left on his plate.

There was a long silence at the table.

"We don't decide who goes," Emmett finally said. "Sam does. He's kind of the one in charge of the raids. He has a rotating schedule of the volunteers since we can only take a few at a time. We'll let him know and he'll decide."

I nodded with finality. "Great."

Edward's knuckles were white on his fork. The rest of the meal passed quickly. I jumped up, gathering empty plates and carrying them into the kitchen, starting the water for washing dishes. Sally joined me, smiling shyly as we washed together. The other women came in and started putting leftovers away while the men headed upstairs to the two bathrooms to take turns bathing. Personally, I felt that they should likely leave the stank so that they'd be less of a target for tomorrow but I was an unknown here so I kept my mouth shut. I wasn't sure how they'd take my two cents since some of them seemed to have an issue with my presence in the first place.

Emmett came in as we were finishing up the dishes and sidled up to me. "Sam said if you're willing, he'll take you along sometime. Not tomorrow since you're still recovering, but in the future."

I nodded. "Thanks, Emmett."

He nodded and squeezed my shoulder. He stood for a moment then sighed softly. "I'm not sure what's going on between you and Edward, but you should know, he cares a lot about you. More than anyone I've ever seen him with. The age thing doesn't bother me in the slightest and it's good to have you here. I think you'll be…interesting."

I grinned and looked up at him. "Thanks Emmett."

He nodded but didn't move. "Also, I'm sorry about last night. I'm just trying to look out for my family, you know?"

"I know. I get it, I really do. Its hard to accept the new and unknown. I just hope y'all give me a chance to prove myself."

"Deal." He nodded and winked at me as he headed out of the kitchen. Sally headed upstairs with him, chatting excitedly about something. It sounded like baby chicks.

"B, can we talk?"

I turned, startled, at Edward's voice in the kitchen doorway."Now?"

"Yes."

"I'm kind of tired," I hedged.

"Bullshit."

"It is not. I was dealing with kids all day."

"Just take a fucking walk with me. Ten minutes, I swear."

"Why?"

"Because I asked you to."

I sighed. I wasn't really all that tired, I just didn't want to talk to him. "Fine. Ten minutes."

He handed me a jacket wordlessly and I shrugged into it, studying him. He'd showered and changed. He was now wearing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that did absolutely nothing for him. I was kind of grateful for that: less temptation.

We walked out onto the porch, walking down the path away from the docks, further into the island. I was quiet, looking into the windows of the buildings we passed, the insides lit up by candles. Most were going out right now, an easy way to save them. There'd be more need of them in the winter when there was less sunlight.

"I'm not sure where to start but I'm afraid you'll do something stupid like run off so I'm just going to dive in. What the fuck happened this morning?" I could hear the annoyance in his voice and guessed it had likely just been building all day long.

"Nothing."

"Fuck, why won't you talk to me? Quit acting like such a kid!"

"I _am_ a kid, Edward," I snapped. "I'm eighteen fucking years old. Surely someone else is better for you."

"That again? Is that what this is about? You don't think you're good enough for me? Why are you bringing this up now?"

I sighed. "Maybe I didn't totally believe that you'd have any options ever but now that I see you do, I'm happy to step aside."

"And what about you?" he demanded. "You think I'm going to just walk away from you? After all we went through? Fuck, if I was going to do that, if I wanted to get rid of you, I'd have taken my opportunity ages ago, B. Do you really think so little of me, to honestly believe I'd desert you?"

"Maybe? I don't know." I turned away from him, angry that I was crying now.

He grabbed my upper arms and turned me towards him. I could barely make out his face in the moonlight filtering through the trees. "I'm not leaving you. I have no intentions of leaving you now or ever, B. I don't care if you ever tell me your name. I'll have babies with an initial."

I gave him a wobbly laugh then sighed, wiping at my eyes. "No babies, remember?"

"Fuck them all, if we want a baby, we'll have one." He pulled me into a hug, stroking my hair now. I hugged him back tightly, closing my eyes and breathing in his smell. I had to admit, I preferred the smell of Clean Edward over Zombie Fighting Dirty Edward.

I hiccupped softly. "I'm sorry. I guess you could say I have abandonment issues."

"No shit. You can count on me, though. I'll never leave. You're stuck with me forever."

I looked up at him. "Promise?"

"Promise." He leaned down and kissed me lightly. "Now," he said softly "about you going on raids."

"I'm going and that's that," I interrupted him. "There's no reason for me not to."

He sighed. "Nothing I can say will change your mind?"

"Nope."

"God you're stubborn."

"You're only just now realizing this?"

He chuckled and turned us back towards the house. "No, but now is probably the first time I've really hated it."

I laughed softly and squeezed his hand.


	11. Chapter 11: Movie Quotes Can Be Romantic

The next few weeks were spent quietly, adapting to the island and meeting the others, getting to know them and the jobs we all pitched in on. I quickly fell into a groove of taking care of the kids and working in the small garden. Being Maine, winter was coming early and quickly so we were in a rush to harvest all the vegetables from the garden and then to preserve them. I grimaced slightly at that but didn't say anything. At least these canned fruits and vegetables were a little fresher than the ones we'd been living off of thus far.

The first run back to the mainland was successful. They returned with what looked like the entire contents of a Wal-mart. There were a couple of vehicles they kept at the docks, pickup trucks, and they'd filled those up completely, using tarps to keep the shit inside. They'd encountered a few zeds along the way but nothing they couldn't handle.

The best thing about it all, though, was the fact that they hit a museum and stole a transatlantic telegraph. I wasn't sure how they intended to make it work without the cables or whatever the fuck it was that made telegraphs work, but Edward's dad, Carlisle, was giddy with excitement and spent hours tinkering with it.

"You know," I muttered one night as Edward and I were snuggling down under the quilts, my teeth chattering "a satellite phone would have been more useful. We could try to call someplace else. Europe or Asia or something."

He sighed. "They're planning a trip to Europe."

"What?" I sat up and looked at him with surprise.

"Yeah, as soon as spring hits, they want to load up a boat and set off for England."

"That'll take a couple of weeks, if they make it." I stared at him incredulously.

"I know. I think it's a stupid ass idea but there's no talking Jasper out of something once he's made his mind up about it." He gently pulled me back down next to him. We lay in silence for a bit.

"You know what they need is some of those trunks from _Joe vs. the Volcano_," I muttered. "Those fuckers were indestructible."

Edward laughed and rubbed my arms soothingly. "Please don't tell me you have a brain cloud."

"No, but I hate the sunshine. It gets me down."

He laughed and started to tickle me, rolling over on top of me as I squirmed and laughed, trying to get away. "I'm not arguing that with you."

I gasped with laughter, trying to push him off of me as his fingers hit the secret spots only he knew. "I know he can get the job, but can he do the job," I panted, finally managing to push him away from me a little.

He was laughing now, collapsing on top of me and effectively pinning my arms and legs. "Well, at least I'm not sick, besides this terminal disease." He started to kiss along my jaw to my neck, hitting the hollow at the base of my throat and slipping his fingers up under my shirt. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his mouth to mine, wrapping my legs around his waist in the process.

"Not tonight," he murmured softly as I pressed my hips against his. "It's that time of the month for you."

I growled frustratedly but nodded. Damn ovulation. I'd relish not having a period anymore for more than one reason, that was for sure. As undernourished as I'd been, you'd think I would have stopped having one but no, my body decided to defy convention. Leah, one of the soldiers, was also a medic and she, while not having much in the way of medical training, wondered if that meant I was a little more fertile than most. So, Edward and I were doubly careful. Condoms every time and no sex in the middle of my cycle when I was likely ovulating. It was a real mood killer to have to stop and count sometimes.

He flopped onto his back beside me and we lay, staring up at the ceiling and breathing heavily.

"Fucking zombies," I muttered.

"No shit." He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He rolled onto his side and pulled me against him. "Promise me one thing."

"What's the one thing?"

"Don't volunteer to go to England."

I laughed and nodded. "Deal. Same goes for you."

He chuckled and kissed my temple. "No way in hell am I getting on a boat. Open water terrifies me."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. I hated coming out to the island as a kid because of all the water surrounding it."

"And now?"

"Now? Still scary, but also a safety blanket. Sort of."

"Why only sort of?"

He was silent for a long moment. "B, they're learning. They're adapting and living longer. It's like they're evolving or some shit."

"How do you know?"

"I overheard a couple of guys talking about the last trip. They saw a zed trying to drive. Only thing that stopped it was the car was out of gas."

I shivered and that time, it wasn't the cold air in the room.

"It's only a matter of time, B. They know we're out here, it's just a matter of time until they figure out how to get here. They don't need to breathe so they could potentially just walk across the harbor to get here."

"Fuck."

"Yeah. It may be an insane idea to take a boat to England, but at this point, that might be our best option."

I nodded and cuddled closer to him. Here, in this bed and in his arms, there were no zeds and no fears and no worries. Just us.

Gradually, I was accepted by everyone on the island. Edward's parents and sisters-in-law were quick to accept me, but Jasper and Emmett held back a little. I could tell they were wary of me still and I didn't blame them. Who was I to any of them but a strange girl who'd somehow captured their brother's affections?

My chance to prove myself came on the first raid I participated in. It was cold, late October, and there were five of us going: Emmett, Sam, Leah, Jared, and me. I felt pretty secure with the three soldiers but Emmett kept giving me looks. I tried to look away but even then, I felt his eyes boring into the back of my skull.

We landed and piled into the trucks, heading out in the direction of the last raid. There'd been a couple stores in a shopping area they'd missed and wanted to get again. I wordlessly pulled on my protective gear and hefted my bat. It wasn't the cricket bat from Phoenix, but an aluminum baseball bat. I could do some serious damage with this.

We pulled up to the shopping center and my heart started to beat faster. I could see the broken blood smeared windows, evidence that there were zeds around...or had been. I was really hoping it was a had been situation.

"Recent activity," Leah muttered in my ear, jerking her head in the direction of the bloody glass. "It was clean last time we were here."

"Great."

She nodded and renewed her grip on her gun, her thumb lightly caressing the side.

We piled out carefully, holding our weapons up in a ready stance as we slowly made our way towards the two stores they'd missed: a pharmacy and a clothing store. I could only hear the rushing of blood in my ears as we neared it, waiting anxiously for a signal of some kind.

Sam used some kind of military miming to indicate that he was going in first and that Emmett should bring up the rear. I followed Leah in through the broken window, scanning for any sign of movement. We quickly searched the perimeter of the pharmacy, relieved to find it was empty. Emmett stood guard outside while we filled up the small carts and started dumping shit in the beds of the trucks. I went out to stand with him for a moment, trying to figure out how to let him know I was trustworthy.

"I'd kill for a cigarette right now," he said after a few minutes of me standing beside him in silence.

I grinned. "None of the places have cigarettes?"

"They do, we're just not allowed to smoke. I think we should, since its an appetite suppressant."

"Life's hard in the AZ," I chuckled. "We all have to give up our vices."

"What'd you give up?"

I thought for a moment. "Writing."

"That's not a vice," he scoffed.

"You never read my writing."

He laughed, a great booming sound that sounded odd and out of place here in the shell of civilization. I grabbed his arm and he immediately stopped, following my gaze to some movement in the distance.

"Zeds?" I asked.

He nodded. "Looks like. They're moving fast."

"Well, they're fast fuckers. Have you not noticed that before now?"

"Most of the ones we run into are decaying enough that they're fairly slow."

"Well, the fresh ones would put Bolt to shame." I stepped back into the store to alert the others.

They picked up the pace and we opted to forget the clothing store, piling into the trucks and pulling out before really securing the second tarp. Emmett and I were in the back working on tying it down when the first zed caught up to us. Leah easily picked him off with her gun. It startled me but Emmett kept working. I shook myself and worked beside him, quickly lashing down the precious meds we'd grabbed.

Emmett let out a startled yelp and went flying off the truck as one of the zeds grabbed him and pulled him off the truck. I didn't think, I just reacted. I jumped off too and rolled when I hit the ground. I jumped to my feet and pounded off down the pavement to where Emmett was fighting off zeds. There were five of them, all surrounding him. He was a goner and he knew it. I wasn't ready to accept it, though.

I screamed at the top of my lungs, drawing a couple of the zeds to me. I quickly took them out with the bat, grateful they'd staggered their approach some, then ran towards Emmett.

His gun was clicking, signifying there were no more bullets, but he kept pulling the trigger as one of the zeds was attempting to peel his protective clothing off to get at his skin.

"Back off, asshole," I growled, swinging and connecting with the head. The rest of the body slumped down and rested on Emmett's stomach.

The other two had been dispatched by Emmett's gun before he ran out, their corpses oozing and still on the pavement. I kicked the one on him off, then offered him a hand. He took it and let me pull him up. We stared at each other for a long moment, panting.

"That was the dumbest fucking thing you could have done."

"Sorry. Won't happen again."

He grinned at me and shook his head. "You're always like that?"

"Well, not always. Sometimes I have something witty to say."

He chuckled and slung an arm around my shoulders as we set off towards the trucks that were now returning. "You're ok by me, kid."

"Do me a favor then?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "What's that?"

"Don't tell Edward I jumped out of a moving vehicle. He'll get pissed."

He laughed again and nodded. "I won't, but I'll bet one of them does." He motioned to the others who were watching us wide eyed.

I sighed. "Then I'll just have to appease him with my feminine wiles."

"You do that. He could use some decent feminine wiles used on him. He's too tense if you ask me."

The others first berated then congratulated me on the epic save. I pleaded with them not to tell Edward, but they did anyway. He was furious, like I knew he would be, but he calmed down finally and thanked me for saving Emmett. In the same breath he told me if I ever did anything like that again, he'd lock me in a closet every raid day.

The winter passed slowly. It seemed to last forever, too. The snow came early and stayed late. The small pond on the island froze solid so we went make-shift ice skating in our boots. The next trip to the mainland, the raiders brought back ice skates and hockey gear. Why they hadn't gotten some before now I didn't understand but I didn't argue the fact. I simply strapped on the gear and headed out on the ice.

Growing up in Texas did not prepare me for such harsh winters and I couldn't ice skate to save my life. As a result, I was shivering uncontrollably and ended up being made goalie. I actually wasn't half bad, blocking the majority of the pucks with my body by falling.

Edward, of course, was a natural. He looked like he'd been born on skates, as did almost everyone else on the island. Even the kids were better than me. I didn't care, though, since my clumsiness resulted in Edward staying close by in case I really hurt myself.

The whole island ate together for nearly every meal. It was easier to cook that way and there were rarely ever leftovers. I didn't miss that the portions gradually got smaller. It concerned me but I couldn't really do anything to fix it. Food was scarce out in the AZ. Here on the island, we had whatever we'd scrounged from there but there were a lot of people to feed, plus the animals. At least they could mostly live off the land. No need to worry about them too much, though the cows had trouble finding grass in the winter.

Spring finally came, though it was later than I was used to. In Texas, we got spring in early March, sometimes even late February. Here, it was May. We all shed our multiple layers and enjoyed the days of sunshine and relative warmth. A few brave souls even went swimming in the hockey pond. I got chills just thinking about it.

Things were quiet on the island, the days became monotonous and simplistic. The raids were the most exciting parts of our months, the one or sometimes two days that a few people would leave the island in search of supplies. There was always the anxiety that one or all of them would not make it back to us. They always made it, though, and sometimes, they brought us back surprises.

Once, they came back with some wild turkeys they'd managed to catch. Another time they brought back some antique shit from a farming museum nearby. The most random thing, though, was the Tiffany's raid.

I'd never been a huge fan of Tiffany's, to be honest. Expensive jewelry didn't make a lot of sense to me. Sure, when I got old enough to realize what it was and started thinking about marriage, I wanted a pretty ring, but once I realized what Tiffany's was, I was horrified to realize that they charged upwards of $10,000 for a ring. My first car cost less than that. So, when Edward presented me with a silver necklace that night, I chided him for it.

"Seriously? Why didn't you guys get something useful like shoes or clothing or more animals?"

He chuckled and fastened it around my neck anyway. "We thought it might be nice to get something pretty for our women. Plus there were no live animals in the mall we hit."

I grunted and studied the pendant in the dim moonlight. "Well, thank you. It's beautiful."

"You just enhance its beauty. It's really a piece of junk."

I laughed and swatted him with my pillow. He grabbed me and pulled me close for a kiss. I snuggled against his chest, tangling my legs with his.

"Are they still set on the trip to England?" I asked after a while.

He nodded. "Yep."

"When are they talking about going?"

"July. It'll be a little warmer then."

I nodded, twisting my fingers in his shirt. "And the zeds?"

"Still out there, though there are less. They've taken to eating animals now."

I shuddered. He hugged me tighter to him and we lay quietly.

"You know," he said suddenly "we missed our anniversary."

"What anniversary?"

"The anniversary of our meeting. It was a couple months ago."

"So it was."

"Well…happy anniversary."

I laughed. "So what do we want to do to celebrate?"

"This." He shifted around in the dark and suddenly I felt something cold and metallic on my hand. I shifted and held it up, peering at it in the moonlight.

"It's a ring."

"Yep."

"Is it a Tiffany's ring?"

He laughed softly and kissed my bare shoulder. "No. We hit a pawn shop for weapons and I stole the ring there."

"I love it, thanks." I rolled over and kissed him, moving my legs so I was astride him. His arms tightened around my waist and he held me tightly to him.

"It's an engagement ring, B."

"I figured."

"So?"

I laughed and shook my head. "There's not really marriage anymore, Edward. There are no more pastors or churches or much in the way of religion. Just what we decide and what we want."

"I've decided I want you."

I smiled and cupped his face, scratching the scruff he had on his jaw. "And I want you. Why bother with a ring? No one else on the island is after either of us."

"Because it's a small semblance of civilization and of what used to be, that's why. Plus, it makes me happy."

I sighed and rested my forehead against his chest. "I'm afraid if I say yes, you'll die."

"I'm afraid if you say no, I'll die and you'll regret it. I don't ask for much from you, you know."

"I know." My voice was muffled by his shirt. He rubbed his hands up and down my back and I finally sat up and took a deep breath. "I'll marry you, Edward, but on one condition."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "I'm listening."

"Promise me you won't go to England."

"I'm not even remotely interested in going, B."

"Promise me."

"Fine, I promise."

I nodded and smiled down at him. "I accept your proposal, then, Edward…whatever your last name is."

He laughed and sat up, shifting me slightly and kissing me. "It's Cullen."

"Edward Cullen. Nice." I slipped my arms around his neck and toyed with the hair at his nape.

"And you?"

I smiled. "You want to know my name?"

"I figure after over a year with you and an engagement, I'm due."

I smiled and sat back from him a little, holding out my hand. "I'm Isabella Eve Swan."

"Eve?"

"Yep."

He smiled and shook his head. "My first name is Adam."

"Shut up." I shoved his shoulder lightly.

"Seriously. Adam Edward Cullen. Named after my grandfathers."

I laughed and kissed him again, pushing him back. "So I guess our sons will be Cain and Abel and Seth?"

"I prefer Aron and Cal and Abra."

"Love that book."

"Love you."

He rolled over and pulled my panties down along with his own pants and settled between my legs. I lifted my hips as he rolled on the condom and smiled up at him.

"Love you, too."

He kissed me again and paused a moment, hovering against me. "Did you see _Cold Mountain_?"

I frowned. "No."

"There was a scene in it where the couple wanted to get married but couldn't because there wasn't a preacher. They decided that if they said 'I marry you' three times, they were married."

I reached up and threaded my fingers in his hair. "I marry you." I pulled him down and lightly kissed his jaw. "I marry you." I kissed the hollow at the base of his throat. "I marry you." I kissed his mouth. "Any questions?"

He grinned and kissed the juncture of my jaw and my neck. "I marry you." He kissed my throat. "I marry you." He nuzzled the underside of my chin. "I marry you. No questions asked."

I grinned. "That makes this my wedding night. You better make it special."

"Oh, I intend to." He kissed me again and moved against me.

***

Tali: So, this story was originally written as my own (like pretty much all of my stories) and the characters' names were Chris and Eve, or E. I had to amend it for Twilight but really wanted to keep the Adam and Eve thing since as far as they know, it's the end of the world. So, I changed their names.

Movies quoted are (obviously) _Joe Vs the Volcano_ and _Cold Mountain_. The book is _East of Eden_ by John Steinbeck. I adore that book, mostly cause my husband and I read it together while we were dating and he was overseas. Plus, I adore JS in general. Check it out my friends.

Also, the bit with the raid (about 1300 words) was totally added in the past 20 minutes to appease a couple of people: its a raid (so you can know kind of what they're like) and B's moment of proving herself. Hope it works for you ladies! I'm sorry, I can't remember your names and I'm sick so going to go lay down instead of look them up. Hugs and air kisses! Air cookies? Something. Enjoy!


	12. Chapter 12: Setting Sail

A couple of months later, the volunteers for the trip were ready. They had commandeered a sailboat on one of their last raids and we had spent the weeks since getting it ready to sail. We'd outfitted it with new sails pilfered from a store with large pieces of canvas and stocked it with food and water for their journey. They'd be eating mostly fish but they had vitamins and some home canned vegetables to help fight off any diseases they might encounter. We all gathered on the docks to see them off, all of us completely anxious and worried.

Emmett was insistent that he go, as were a couple of the soldiers, Seth and Paul, and Jake Black. It wasn't a large sailboat, so four was just about the absolute maximum for the trip. It was also the minimum.

If I were Rosalie or Sarah, Jake's mom, I would have been a complete wreck but both women were stoic as we gathered to watch the boat set out in the early morning light. They anticipated the trip taking about two weeks, maybe more depending on weather, a couple of weeks there, then hopefully, just a couple more weeks back. We were going to be looking for them in six to eight weeks. That'd be in the middle of September. I really hoped they came back with good news. We had no idea what we'd do if the infection had spread abroad. The government had been pretty quick to shut down the borders, going so far as to recall planes in mid-flight the day they realized what was going on. The borders into Canada and Mexico had been closed but who knew if that actually worked. For all we knew, the infection had spread throughout the Americas and overseas and we were the last people on earth.

I really hoped we weren't. I hadn't told anyone yet, but I was pregnant.

I was terrified of what would happen when the others found out. Would they kick me off the island, send me back to the mainland? Would they insist the baby be killed when it was born? What would happen to us?

I knew Edward would go with me if I was sent away and that he wouldn't let the baby be killed. I just wasn't sure if he would be that successful in stopping them. One against many wasn't good odds.

I shivered slightly as a cool breeze off the water blew over me. I hugged myself and shifted from foot to foot tiredly. Jake wasn't here yet and the others were getting anxious.

"We need to get going," Seth finally announced. "Someone else want to volunteer or should we just go with who we've got?"

"You need four," Carlisle muttered, looking around. Not many people were very good on boats, the four who volunteered were pretty much it.

"I'll go."

I looked up, startled. "Edward, no. You promised."

"I know but they need a fourth and I'm the only other person other than Jasper who knows boats."

"Then let him go," I hissed desperately.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the others. "Bella, I would, but Alice is sick. He'd be no use."

"Sick?"

He nodded. "She had cancer a few years ago and they think it's come back. She found a lump. They're not talking about it much but she's not doing well."

My heart hammered in my chest and I looked towards her. She was thinner and paler than she had been. I could kick myself for only just realizing it. It also accounted some for her recent lack of appetite. I'd figured she was just eating less so her kids would have more.

"If something happens to the men on the boat, her kids would be left orphans, Bella. I can't do that, no matter how much of a dick he is."

"What about me, though?"

"I'll come back to you. I swear."

I swallowed hard. I had a trump card. I knew I could play it. I knew if I told him I was pregnant that he'd stay. I also knew how big of a step this was for him to volunteer at the last minute. I stepped up and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him firmly.

"If you don't come back to me, you'll regret it."

He smiled softly and nodded. "You bet your ass I will." He kissed me again and we turned and walked back to the dock. Esme wrapped her arms around me as we watched the men climb into the boat, Edward shaking hands with the others in greeting. My heart was in my throat as I watched them pull away and leave.

We all stood and watched until the boat disappeared over the horizon. Esme and I stood longer than anyone else before we finally turned and went back to the house. Life would have to go on, no matter what, no matter the fact that our hearts were breaking even as they sailed away in search of hope.

The days and weeks dragged by and I gained some appreciation for captains' wives from two or three hundred years ago. Every time I was outside, I found my eyes scanning the horizon for the mast with white sails, even when it was way too soon to expect them. I knew that Rosalie and Esme did, too. All of us did, but it felt like we had the most to lose. Seth and Paul were essentially single.

We searched the island for Jake and I found him sitting on a cliff overlooking the ocean.

I stood back for a moment, watching him. He was sitting, staring out towards the east with his hands wrapped around his knees. I finally sighed and sat down beside him.

"You ok?"

He flinched at the sound of my voice. "I'm a chicken shit."

I bit my lip. I agreed with him but I could see the wisdom in keeping that bit of information to myself. "You're just scared, like all of us."

He nodded and rested his chin on his knees. It was strange to realize he was the same age I was when right now he looked so much like a child that I had to resist the urge to pull him into my lap and comfort him.

We sat in silence for a while, my urge to kick him off the cliff slowly dissipating as the sun set behind us.

"You should come in," I said finally as everything around us was dusky. "It'll be hard enough to find our way back now. You shouldn't wait until full on dark."

"I know. I think I'll just…sit here a little longer. If that's ok."

"I'm not the one you need to explain yourself to," I said softly. "I actually kind of understand why you backed out. I'm pissed as hell, but I get it. Your mom is scared, though. She's worried about you."

"I feel like you're the one I need to apologize to the most," he said quietly, picking at the grass beside him. "You're the one who's boyfriend…husband…whatever…left in my place."

"You're right. Maybe that means you have to take over Edward's duties."

He looked at me and even in the dim light, I could see a quirk of his eyebrow. I laughed softly and shoved him gently.

"Not _all_ his duties, but some. The work he did at least."

"I can do that."

"And you need to let your mother comfort you."

He sighed and nodded, finally pushing himself up. He held out a hand to me and I took it, letting him pull me up. He pulled me into an awkward hug before we set off down the trail. Jake walked ahead of me, holding the branches back to keep them from smacking me as we walked. I waved goodbye as he ducked into the bunkhouse where his family lived and continued on up the hill to the main house.

I wasn't hungry so I headed straight upstairs to bed. I knew how relieved Sarah was not to lose him to the sea and I couldn't begrudge her her relief. I just hated that I'd had to be the one to lose someone in his place.

I curled up in the bed that was suddenly too big after months of being too small and hugged Edward's pillow to my chest. I buried my face in the pillow and breathed in his scent before dissolving into tears.

He'd left so quickly he hadn't packed anything to take with him. I hoped that he didn't regret that later. Maybe they'd be too busy to miss reading material and I knew he and Emmett were the same height, though Emmett was broader, so at least he'd have something to wear, even if he was swimming in it.

As thin as I was when I got pregnant, I started to show almost immediately. A couple of weeks after the boat left, I was found out. I was with the kids outside, supervising while they splashed around in the pond.

"B!"

I turned and shaded my eyes, smiling as I saw Leah coming down the hill towards me. Her long black hair was loose around her shoulders and she was smiling at me cheerfully.

"Hey," I greeted her, scooting over on my log. "What're you doing here? I thought you had laundry duty today."

"I do. It's all hanging out to dry right now so I thought I'd come hang out with you and the kiddos."

I grinned and shook my head. "How you do it so quickly I'll never understand. It took me all day with machines."

She laughed and stretched her legs out in front of her. "I grew up with a million kids running around and we always had lots of laundry. I got pretty good at it."

"Lots of kids, huh?"

She nodded smiling affectionately at James and Lizbet as they screamed and splashed each other. They were both naked but at their age, it wasn't a big deal for them.

"Yeah, I was one of twelve and we always had friends around, too."

"Wow, twelve?"

She nodded, grinning. "I know, insane, right? Mom and Dad wanted a lot of kids and so they just started adopting and having their own as soon as they could."

"And you?"

Her face darkened slightly. "I had two kids. I wanted more but my husband wasn't so sure. We were talking about having more when…"

I nodded and stared at the ocean horizon again, hopeful.

"Anyway, Embry and I are talking about having some later on."

"Embry?"

She flushed and nodded. I had to admit, the tall Native American man was gorgeous, but I'd never seen the two so much as exchange a romantic glance let alone anything to intimate there was a stronger relationship there.

"Yeah, we've been…whatever you are on this island for about a year now. We're hoping that Europe is safe so that we can go there and have a life again, you know? With each other."

I nodded. I knew exactly what she meant. It was what we all wanted.

I stretched my legs out in front of us and yawned, stretching back a little to work kinks out of my shoulders.

"B."

I looked up and saw that Leah's eyes were locked onto my stomach. I flushed and pulled on my t-shirt.

"How far?"

I sighed. "Couple months. I think three."

"Fuck. Did he know?"

I shook my head. "He wouldn't have gone if he did and they needed him."

"You should have told him."

"I know." I leaned forward then, hugging my knees. "I just didn't want him to worry about me. He needs to focus on the job he's got and not be constantly thinking about me and this." I motioned to my stomach.

"He still deserves to know."

"I know." I rested my chin on my knees and stared at the water unseeingly. She scooted over and wrapped her arm around my shoulders, resting her head against mine.

"Scared?"

I laughed softly. "Shitless."

"Don't be. You'll be fine. Both of you."

I nodded and sat up tiredly. "We should get them in for some lessons. Sue will have my head otherwise."

She laughed and nodded. We called James and Lizbet back and they came willingly enough, following along behind the older ones who complained about having to go in to school work. I agreed with them. It was a beautiful day and it didn't seem right to spend it inside but I was a mere cog in the machinery that kept the island running.

Leah and I herded the kids up towards the house, swatting and laughing as we went.

"B," she said softly as the kids all ran in ahead of us, heading to their rooms to get dressed.

I looked at her. "Yeah?"

"I won't tell anyone, but you should, and soon. We've got to figure out how to deal with a baby around here."

I nodded and gave her a quick hug before walking inside. How to tell everyone that the unspoken rule on the island had been broken?


	13. Chapter 13: Winter

A few weeks went by. I was hoping that Edward would be back before I had to tell anyone anything but Leah kept shooting me knowing looks, her eyes flicking down to my more prominent belly. I tried to ignore her but that wasn't easy to do. She seemed to be hovering now.

I finally bit the bullet and stood up one evening at dinner. Everyone was talking and laughing, trying to ignore the four empty seats at our table. I nervously cleared my throat and curious eyes turned to me then.

"Hi, um…I have something to say." I twisted my napkin nervously and shot a look at Leah. She smiled encouragingly and I nodded once. "Right. So. I'm pregnant. About three or four months by now."

There was a stunned silence.

"Pregnant?" gasped Esme.

I nodded, shifting my weight anxiously. Esme stood up and came around the table, pulling me into a hug. "Does Edward know?"

I shook my head. "No, I didn't tell him before he left."

She nodded. "That way he won't worry."

"Right."

"We're not giving you more to eat just because you're knocked up," said Jared suddenly. "Otherwise every woman would just get pregnant."

"I'm not asking for more food," I said stiffly. "I didn't plan this."

"Of course you didn't. We're all careful, right?" Esme turned to the rest of the group with a reproachful look on her face.

"Exactly. _We're_ all careful. Obviously the Golden Boy and Girl weren't."

I narrowed my eyes at Jared. "You do realize that condoms aren't 100% effective, right? The only proven method of birth control that any of us have access to is abstinence. And I don't see any of you voluntarily taking that on."

There was a lot of uncomfortable shifting around the table. Honestly, without sex, a lot of us would be bored out of our minds. We'd all read just about every book on the island, we swam to the point of it not being that exciting for anyone over the age of about 10 anymore. Fishing was more for sustenance than relaxation…sex was the one thing that didn't get old. Or at least it hadn't yet.

"So, we're looking at a winter birth," Sam said finally, clearly calculating dates in his head.

I nodded and he leaned forward, his fingers steepled in front of his lips as he thought. "We'll have to figure out what sheets and old clothing items we can spare for diapers and whatever else you'll need. Leah, can you and Angela take that on?"

The two women nodded. "And Emily, you had kids, right?" She nodded. "Good. You can get B up to speed on what she needs to know before the baby comes."

"There are a lot of mothers on this island, Sam, not just Emily," Rosalie said with annoyance. "B will be taken care of by her family."

"As I have no real family," I cut in "all of you are who I could consider family. I'll take advice from everyone."

Sam continued barking orders, setting Harry Clearwater to the task of making a cradle. The old man seemed overjoyed at the prospect and it warmed my heart to see him so excited about it. He hadn't had a lot to do on the island since his health had begun to deteriorate the previous winter.

I sat with him in the afternoons now while the kids were having lessons, keeping him company. We talked about anything and everything. He told me about his kids and grandkids and I told him about my parents and brother. I told him things I hadn't even told Edward about my past and my fears and worries about being a parent, possibly a single parent at that. He assured me none of it was unreasonable or out of the ordinary for a new parent and that made me feel better, more so than all the things the women told me. Most of what they told me scared me shitless.

The time came for the boat to return and then…it went. The days passed and the weather was quickly turning cooler. My stomach was twisted up in knots as I began to walk up to the highest point on the island every morning and evening, scanning the eastern horizon for any hint of white. I'd sit there until it was past time for breakfast and until the sky and sea were indistinguishable from each other. Rosalie was also worried, but it seemed no one was more distracted by the lateness of our loved ones than Esme. Every time I came back, my shoulders slumped in defeat, it seemed as though another little part of her died. It was almost as though the only thing keeping her going was the hope that tomorrow they'd be there. But they never were.

The summer quickly turned to fall and the leaves on the trees dropped, carpeting the ground with the gold and red hues. I continued to climb the hill every morning, hoping against hope that this was the day. My belly was growing quickly, which was a shock to me but a point of relief for the others who had been concerned over the lack of proper nutrition for me.

I was sitting on the hill, watching and waiting, when the first snow came. Esme found me, shivering and staring stubbornly at the horizon.

"B, come inside. It's cold."

"I'm waiting," I chattered.

"Fine, keep waiting, but inside. You have more than just yourself to worry about you know."

I stood up, begrudgingly. I didn't want to leave my perch but my feet and hands were numb and I was beyond cold. She helped me back into the house and into a warm bath to help me thaw out before tucking me into bed. She sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, studying me.

"I'm sorry everything has turned out like this," she said finally. "I should consider myself extremely lucky since until recently, I had all three sons safe and sound. Well, not the whole time but you know what I mean. I didn't lose as many as most did. Almost everyone here lost everyone and I didn't lose my children or my grandchildren."

I studied her for a moment. "It's not enough, though," I rasped. "You want to keep them."

"Right." She rubbed my hand between hers for a moment. "I never met Tanya but I have a feeling that he didn't look at her the same way he looks at you."

"How did you even know about her?"

"She sent us their wedding invitation. After the fact of course, but she at least sent it. With a picture."

"So she looked like me?"

"Sort of. It wasn't a very good picture. She had long dark hair like yours and she was pretty. Very pretty."

I shifted in the bed, looking at her curiously. "What about Veronica?"

Her face darkened. "Veronica. There was a mistake. Did Edward tell you his side of the story?"

"She got pregnant, you paid her off, she left and had an abortion."

"Yeah, well, the baby wasn't his."

I stared at her in shock. "It wasn't?"

She shook her head. "We had the baby tested. She had a bit of a reputation. We told her that she could either tell him the truth or we would. She opted to just leave and sent him a letter telling him the story of the pay off and abortion. It never happened."

I sat up then. "It didn't?"

"No." She looked sad. "Nothing we could say would get him to believe us, though. So, he left and we didn't hear from him again until three years ago when the infection hit. It hit there first so we were able to get everything squared away here. We invited our friends and extended family but no one believed it would be so widespread or terrible." She sighed. "In some ways, I'm kind of glad that this all happened because it brought him back to us and you're here now, too."

I smiled sadly and rested my chin in my hands. "Yeah, I still wish it hadn't. I miss my family."

"Of course you do," she murmured, smoothing my hair. She leaned forward and kissed my forehead. "Go to sleep. We'll both go check tomorrow."

But we didn't. The next morning, we all woke up to find that Harry had passed away in the night. Sue was a mess, keening for her husband of sixty years.

The men chipped out a grave in the frozen ground in the little graveyard and we wrapped Harry in sheets and buried him, saying a few words over his snowy grave. Esme wrapped her arms around Sue and brought her back up to the house with us, settling her in one of the empty rooms. Rosalie and I went to the small area of the bunkhouse that had been the Clearwater's and gathered up their few belongings and brought them with us.

"I don't know what I'll do if Emmett doesn't come back," she said softly, hugging the bundle of belongings to her chest.

I nodded, unable to even voice the hollow ache in my chest at the mere thought of Edward not returning.

Now there were four women crying at night. One for a man who would never come home, three for men we weren't sure would ever come home.

That winter was especially hard for the island. We were constantly buffeted by storms, blanketed in snow. To stretch the wood piles we had, we all moved into the main house together. Sue moved into my room with me and the Blacks took the room she'd been in. It was two to a room without exception now, sometimes more where the children were concerned. The animals were housed in one of the bunkhouses to keep them warm and our duties now included cleaning up after them. Sue and I were mercifully spared that duty and we stayed indoors tending to the cooking and cleaning we could do there, entertaining the children as best we could.

My belly grew too large for me to safely make it up the hill on my own anymore, so Esme or Rosalie would go with me and look, twice a day when we could. We were always hopeful. Maybe next time.

By the time Christmas rolled around, I was too big for anyone to let me go. I'd wait on pins and needles, pacing slowly up and down on the porch until Rosalie and Esme returned, shoulders slumped in defeat with hopeful smiles on their faces. It was hard to believe them, since I hadn't been to see it myself, but I had to take their word for it.

Christmas was somber. The raiders hadn't been able to find much to make it special this year, though we did kill a couple of the fatter turkeys and roasted them. They were delicious, but it was tempered by how frail Alice looked and the absence of our loved ones. Sue and I held each other and cried that night.

January started blustery, another blizzard dumping more snow on the island. We attempted to skate some when the weather was good, but even then, it was difficult. It was in January that Alice died.

She went quietly, holding Lizbet in her arms, leaning against Jasper, while Carlisle read to everyone from a book. _Alice in Wonderland_. We were going to bed when Jasper realized what had happened. I wordlessly stepped forward and took Lizbet, cradling her against me and carrying her out. She didn't need to know in the future that she'd been in her mother's arms the moment she died. She slept in the bed with Sue and I. It was crowded and I nearly fell out but it was worth it to have that extra warmth.

The next morning the men again chipped a ragged hole into the ground for Alice's body. Watching as they lowered the sheet wrapped body into the dark hole, my heart broke. I hated the thought of her in that dark cold place. She had been such a lively warm person, full of light and laughter and love. It didn't seem fair that she was being taken away.

Lizbet was confused, not understanding what had happened to her mother. Sally and Claire took her under their wing and the three girls were in turn taken under Rachel and Rebecca's wings. The five became inseparable after that, reading and playing together in spite of the fourteen year age span between them.

Jasper was broken after that, mostly going through the motions of the work that needed to be done. He threw himself into every task with vigor, doing the work of two men. We worried he would injure himself but nothing we said would slow him down.

Bobby and Josh took after him, working hard and ignoring our pleas to slow down. They frequently fell asleep at dinner and it was awkward trying to carry them to their room, so we simply pushed them over onto the floor. If the fall didn't wake them, we'd leave them until morning.

The days continued to drag and the climbs to the hill continued to show nothing. Our stores also continued to dwindle. I was close to my due date and even though I knew the baby wouldn't be eating the food we had, I was still worried. I was terrified we were going to die of starvation on the island.


	14. Chapter 14: Visitors

It finally happened. I was working in the kitchen one afternoon making lunch for everyone with Emily when I felt a strange popping feeling in my stomach. I looked down at it, frowning. Emily looked up.

"Everything ok?"

"I…something popped."

"Popped?"

I nodded and waved my hand in a big circle over my belly. "Here."

"Maybe you're in labor?"

I blinked. "Maybe." I felt a warm trickle down the insides of my legs. We both studied it for a moment and she nodded.

"Definitely in labor."

There was a flurry of excitement after that. Leah stepped up and took over as medic. She hadn't had to deliver any babies as a medic in the army but having had her own, she felt reasonably sure she knew what to do. Every other woman on the island seemed to have ideas, too.

"She needs to walk around to help the baby shift," Rosalie insisted. "That's what I did with mine and it worked wonders."

"No, no, no, she needs to just lie down. She'll be fine if she lies down."

"Well, whatever she does before, she should be sitting up for the delivery."

"Sitting up? Are you out of your mind? You always give birth on your back!"

I closed my eyes as another contraction hit me, knocking the wind out of me. It was hard enough doing this in the first place, doing it with a million people telling me a million different things to do wasn't helping.

"Enough!" I shouted, my voice shaking. "Just…fucking let me do this however I want."

There was a stunned silence. A moment later Jared banged into the great room.

"We've got company."

We all turned to look at him, startled.

"They're back?" breathed Rosalie, stepping forward.

He shook his head. "No. Zeds. They've figured out how to get across the water."

"What? How? They're blind." I could hear the panic in my voice.

"We don't know. It's not like they're exactly forthcoming with the information. All I know is they're coming. They're on their way up the path. We can keep them at the bottleneck and shoot them like fish in a barrel, but there's no guarantee that we'll get all of them."

My heart was hammering in my chest. For a brief, fleeting moment, I wished I'd gone on the boat with Edward. "So…what do we do? We need to arm ourselves. Barricade ourselves upstairs since there's no way we've got time to board up all the windows."

"You need to calm down, B," Emily said sternly. "This stress isn't good for the baby."

"Fuck the baby!" I shouted frustratedly. "If we don't do something, there won't _be_ a baby."

"She's right," said Sue brusquely. "We need to get upstairs and barricade the steps so they can't get to us. Girls, you work on getting anything and everything we might need or want up there with us. I'd say even bring the chickens in. We can put them in the attic."

The younger girls took off, Rachel and Rebecca heading towards the bunkhouse to get the birds while Rosalie, Sally, and Claire headed towards the kitchen. Sue waved Leah and Emily over and they took me upstairs to my room. I could hear people moving around downstairs and instead of climbing into the bed like they wanted, I instead walked over to the window and peered out. I could see the path the zeds would be coming up in a moment. I could see the men running down it, armed to the hilt with rifles and baseball bats and the rest of the ammunition we had. There were also bows and arrows, though Seth was the only one who was any good with them.

"I appreciate your help, I really do," I started softly "but I think your talents are probably better used down there, fighting."

"B, we don't mind…"

"I know, and I love you for that, but from what I understand, this is going to be pretty simple." I turned to face them. "I push, it comes out, someone catches it and cleans it up some, cuts the cord…you need to go fight so that I can have a chance to do all that, so that maybe he or she can have a chance at a life out there somewhere, someday."

They nodded and Leah pulled me into a tight hug. "You are gonna be a great mom, B."

"Bella," I said softly, pulling back and smiling at her. "My name is Bella."

We could already hear the not so distant rapport of the rifles. "Go, they need you. I'll be fine."

They nodded and hugged me again before hurrying out the door. Sue came in then, smiling at me.

"This is going to hurt like hell, sweetheart, but it'll be worth it in the end."

I managed a sobbing laugh and nodded.

She helped me into the bed and we could hear scraping furniture in the hallway as dressers and nightstands were shoved down the stairs, creating a blockade for us at the foot of them. The children were being kept in a room upstairs, away from my cries of pain and away from the shouting outside. I strained my neck, anxious to see what was going on. Sue smiled and gently pushed me back into place.

My anxiety and fears were pushed to the side, though, as the pains intensified. I could hear the shouting from afar still. It didn't seem to be getting any closer, thank god, but I was still scared. We all were.

It felt like days but was probably in actuality only an hour or so before the baby finally slithered out of me and into Sue's waiting hands. It cried lustily and I breathed a sigh of relief.

"It's ok?"

"Yes. He's perfect."

"He?"

She nodded, beaming at me as she carefully handed me the messy wriggling screaming bundle. I looked down at him in amazement. He was beautiful. Ten toes, ten fingers, two perfect ears and a perfect little penis. I wiped some of the gunk on him away with my palm, smiling at him while my heart broke that his father wasn't here.

I groaned as I felt another contraction. "What's going on?"

"Looks like twins," Sue laughed breathlessly. "Ready to push again?"

"More? There's more inside of me?"

She nodded, laughing again.

"Fuck…it's a good thing Edward isn't here or I'd castrate him." I groaned again as she took my son from me and laid him gently in the orange crate cradle Harry had finished before he died. I propped myself up on my elbows, straining to look out the window. "Before we do this, tell me what's going on."

She nodded and moved to the window, pulling the curtains aside. "I don't see anything."

"That's good," I panted, relaxing back on the bed. "Means the zeds haven't broken through."

She nodded and turned back to me. A few minutes later, a baby girl was squalling alongside her brother in the cradle.

"That's it, right?" I groaned tiredly.

Sue laughed softly and nodded. "Just the afterbirth now."

I nodded and held up my hand, my wrist limp. "Easy peesy."

She chuckled. She wrapped up the afterbirth once it was delivered and ducked out of the room, leaving me to rest and snuggle my children.

Twins. I could fucking kill Edward for that.

I was on the verge of drifting off to sleep when I heard crashing downstairs. I carefully crawled out of bed, settling the babies in the middle of it and walking out the door.

"They've got to the house," Esme whispered. "They snuck around the men and they're downstairs."

I could hear them now, their soft melodic voices drifting up from the first floor.

"We can smell you, you know. The new ones smell the best. Fresh, juicy, plump."

I scowled. That was my children they were talking about. "Give me a bat."

"B, you just gave birth not an hour ago. You need to rest."

I glared at Rosalie. "Would you shut the fuck up already? Stop telling me what to do."

She blinked. "You could hurt yourself."

"I said: Give. Me. A bat."

Her lips pursed but she nodded, handing me an aluminum baseball bat. I hefted it for a second, getting used to the weight. I hadn't held a bat in a while.

"If I don't make it back, the boy is Aron and the girl is Abra. Aron with one A."

"Twins?"

I nodded and took a couple of steps, each one sending a dull throbbing ache through my body. I stopped and took a deep breath.

"And tell them I loved them."

The women nodded again, watching me anxiously. I started down the hallway towards the back stairs. The door opened into the pantry so it was rarely used and hadn't been as well barricaded. I moved carefully, hoping the old stairs wouldn't creak under my weight and give me away. I had nothing on my side but the element of surprise and I really needed it right now.

I quietly pulled open the door, peeking out carefully. I could see straight through the open pantry door into the Great Room. There were two zeds, both groping around blindly, knocking into the furniture and walls. They'd overturned several things, the floor littered with books and broken plates and glass. As fumbling as they were, though, they were following their noses and they were getting closer to the main stairs. Closer to my children.

Both of them were male, or at least I thought they were. They were wearing ragged clothing that probably hadn't been very whole to begin with and now, after who knew how long they'd been zeds, it was difficult to determine the original color or style. They were both wet, showing they'd probably swum here or at least swum to shore from a boat out in the bay. I watched as their fingers scrabbled along the walls, looking for doors or the absence of wall that would signify the stairs.

I tugged uselessly on my oversized t-shirt, suddenly wishing I'd thought to grab some panties before running off to save the world. I felt incredibly exposed, still bleeding a bit and half naked. I'd definitely attract their attention as soon as they realized I was closer. I was a little surprised they hadn't noticed yet, but I figured that lack of attention to detail was because I'd essentially run the length of the upstairs and they were attempting to follow the trail of scent.

I grimaced silently as I crawled over the dresser that had been shoved up against the doorway, swinging my legs around and dropping with a light thud onto the floor. This finally caught their attention and they turned, sniffing at the air.

"Ooo, you smell divine. Fresh and juicy."

"I hear that a lot," I panted, holding the bat up and circling. My head was swimming with pain and exhaustion but I pushed it all back and focused on the adrenalin that was starting to kick in. I twisted my hands on the bat. Choking up, wasn't that was Dad called it?

My eyes widened when I saw that Rebecca and Lizbet were crowded under the table, Rebecca's hand firmly over Lizbet's mouth to keep her from making a noise. I shook my head at them and motioned for them to stay where they were. Rebecca nodded, her eyes wide and her face pale.

I circled away from the girls, moving towards the doorway. "You know what I've got upstairs? Two infants. Not one, two. One for each of you."

"Infants…I haven't had one of those yet."

"I know. Not a lot of babies born the last few years. And I've got two."

Just like I hoped, they were following me. My heart was pounding and I felt like I was going to pass out from anxiety and blood loss and exhaustion. I could feel blood lightly trickling down my legs and dripping onto my feet. Now I was wishing for shoes

"I've also got huge breasts. Pregnancy does that, you know? Shame you can't see them to appreciate them because I tell you what, they are fantastic."

They were picking up their pace now and I swallowed hard, terrified they'd get the drop on me and rush me. I could take on one at a time, but not two. I didn't think.

"You know," one was saying "two babies is too much work for one woman. We'd be happy to take them off your hands for you."

"And large breasts frequently cause back pain for women. We could take those off your hands for you, too," the other one smiled…or attempted to anyway. The way the torn lips pulled back against the bloody teeth with what looked like muscle tissue caught between them made my stomach turn a little. Now would not be a good time to vomit.

"You're so considerate," I said sarcastically. Just like the internet, zeds didn't process sarcasm.

"We do try." The grimace/smiles widened and I had to look away or throw up.

They moved closer still. I stopped, my back up against the front door they'd missed. Instead, they'd smashed through one of the large picture windows, leaving broken glass all over the floor and letting in the frosty February air. I winced as my feet were cut by the glass. Another horrible excuse for a smile spread across their faces as the scent of more blood reached them.

I reached behind me and carefully opened the door, stepping backwards out onto the porch. They seemed to think I was going to get away and rushed then. I jumped out of the way, swinging the bat and miraculously colliding with the first one's skull. It exploded like a rotten melon and he slumped to the floor. I didn't have time to wipe the gore off of my face before the second one leaped forward, tackling me to the floor.

I screamed and lost my grip on the bat. It was like the bathroom all over again except this time, Edward wasn't around to save me. I scrabbled out from under him before he had a chance to bite me and hurriedly crawled across the porch, ignoring the screaming pains now shooting through my body. This may kill me, but at least I'd go out fighting.

The zed grabbed my ankle and yanked it, making me lose my balance and hit the floor with a thud. My head hit the edge of one of the rockers and I saw stars and felt a warm trickle. It couldn't be good to be bleeding this much for anyone. I shook my head and kicked at the zed, connecting with his forehead. My heel sunk in, the skull the texture of wet cardboard or damp drywall. I swallowed back bile as I shook my foot free and stood up, looking around wildly for the bat. I saw it sticking out of the snow at the foot of the stairs. I nearly tripped over myself in my eagerness to get to it but I caught myself on the railing and grabbed the bat, returning to the porch and pounding the zed's skull into a fine paste. I then proceeded to do the same with the other. I could hear shouts from the path, closer now. My head hurt, my feet hurt, and my body was screaming at me to rest but my adrenaline was pumping and my mind was racing.

I ran out into the snow, not even really thinking anymore. I saw a zed coming towards me and I took a stance, taking him out as he passed me. I smelled like them now, they wouldn't notice me.

"B, what the fuck are you doing out here?" I heard a voice shout. "You're not wearing any clothes!"

"Some got into the house," I shouted back, swinging and taking out another one. "I got them, though."

I could see the men now, armed with bats now and covered in zed.

"How many were there?" I panted, hobbling over to a tree and leaning against it, wincing with every step.

"A dozen or so."

"I've given birth to twins and killed four, what the fuck have you been doing?"

Tyler grinned and shook his head. "Apparently we're not as kick ass as you are, B."

I nodded, the world fading to tunnel vision. "No shit." Then everything went black.

***

Tali: So, this is probably my favorite chapter. Once I started expanding the story from the first six chapters, I knew I wanted to write B being a total badass and showing that living on the island for over a year and being pregnant wasn't going to make her go soft. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

no.1twilightluver: I am SO sorry for the spoiler this morning! I was trying to figure out a response that wouldn't give lots away and apparently...I suck. Hopefully you've started breathing again and this chapter didn't disappoint in any way. ;-I


	15. Chapter 15: Hope

When I woke up, there were quiet voices around the room. I shifted slightly and pain shot through me.

"Don't move, you tore something."

"Well, at least I'm not dead."

There was a low chuckle around the room.

"Did we get them all?"

"Yes, they're all gone. We counted them off the boat and then counted the bodies. You did a number on the two that got to the house."

"They were threatening to eat my children."

"Fair enough."

"Did we lose anyone?"

There was a long silence. "Jared and Leah. She got bit. She went out swinging, though, took two with her. We had to put her down. Helluva thing. He did too, though they managed to knock him over a cliff onto the rocks."

I pushed myself up and scanned the room. "Embry?"

"He's not taking it well."

I nodded, blinking back tears. "Anyone else?"

"No the rest of us are fine."

I nodded again and closed my eyes, blinking back tears.

"You were amazing, B, I've never seen anything like it." Sam was grinning at me. "You looked like some kind of Amazonian warrior or something when we got to the house, covered in zed and brandishing that bat. Frankly, I was a little scared of you."

I smiled and shifted carefully on the bed. "I told you I'm good in a pinch. You should have taken me on more raids."

"I definitely will once you're up for it."

"Sorry bucko, with two kids and no daddy, I'm off the roster."

He smiled and reached forward, gently tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "You're definitely allowed to do that."

He leaned down then and kissed the top of my head. "You did good today kid. Really good. Get some rest."

Before I could reply, Sue bustled in, shooing everyone out of the room. "The children need their mother and you need rest." She handed me a fussing baby and I smiled, offering my breast. After a moment, the fussing ceased and the nursing commenced.

"I've never seen anything like that," Sue said softly, settling beside me with the other one. I hadn't seen them long enough to be able to tell the difference when they were swaddled like this. "Most newborns take a little while to get used to nursing."

"Well, I was always an overachiever. Maybe it's spilled into them."

She chuckled softly and nodded. "Maybe so."

I spent a couple of weeks in bed recuperating. We hadn't lost anything in the way of supplies, thankfully, so we were able to eat and survive that way, though the house was definitely colder with the window gone. We managed by piling into the rooms and beds, Sue and I awkwardly sleeping with the twins between us, careful not to squash them in the night.

We slowly made our way towards spring, the snow gradually melting away and the grasses poking their heads through. The vegetables were planted again and the cow had a baby. We were definitely doing better now there was more food available, but we still made our treks to the top of the hill, searching. I didn't think we'd ever be truly at ease in our little world until we knew something about our missing men.

Occasionally more zeds would attempt to make their way to the island, but we were better prepared now, keeping a close eye on the mainland than before and we met them at the docks, taking them out before they even had a rotting foot on shore.

The spring gave way to summer and the kids were all growing like weeds, the twins among them. Just like me, they were overachievers, rolling over fairly quickly that spring. The pond became a swimming hole again and the raids continued, though they were now bringing back less and less. On the plus side of that, they were seeing less and less zeds. It looked like they'd finally run out of people and were dying off.

I was sitting by the pond one hot June afternoon, watching the kids play in the water. The twins were lying on the blanket beside me with their feet in their mouths. It was a good day and I was tempted to stretch out beside them and sleep. I stretched my legs out instead, leaning back on my hands and tilting my face back to catch the sun, enjoying the unusual warmth. It was almost like spring back home.

"B!"

I sat up and shaded my eyes, turning to see who was calling to me. Rosalie was running down the steep hill towards me, her face pink with exertion. Emily was close behind her. My heart leapt into my throat. More zeds. I leapt up and grabbed Aron, reaching for Abra when Rosalie shouted again.

"Sails! We saw sails!"

I froze, straightening up and staring at her after a moment. "Sails?"

She nodded excitedly. I hugged Aron to me while she scooped up Abra and we took off, running up the hill to our lookout post. I could hear Emily behind me calling the children in from the water. Aron and Abra complained about our grips on them as we hurried up the hill. I lost my footing but managed to catch myself on a branch before I went down in a heap. Rosalie laughed breathlessly behind me.

"Don't die now, he'll be back tonight."

I grinned and nodded, pushing myself forward. We finally reached the apex of the hill and looked out, shielding our eyes from the bright midday sun. I nearly started crying when I saw the white sails on the horizon, steadily making their way towards us.

"You think it's really them?"

"God I hope so."

I nodded. We stood there as the others joined us one by one until everyone was on the hill, watching apprehensively. We couldn't yet see if it was our boat or not, but my heart told me it was. The throbbing that intensified with every passing moment told me that Edward was getting closer. Rosalie reached over and grabbed my hand. I knew in that instant that she felt it too.

We watched for hours, only the twins becoming restless. The other children knew that this was important and that we wouldn't be calm until we knew who this was.

As the sun started to dip below the horizon, the boat was swallowed up by the shadow of the island. We moved around on the hill anxiously, waiting until the boat was in the golden wash of sunlight, lighting up the side and proving that it was our boat. I pressed my face into Aron's soft neck and started to cry then. Esme's arms encircled me and I felt her crying too. I handed her Aron and looked at her, wiping my eyes. "I'm going to meet them at the docks."

She nodded, taking him and motioning for Carlisle to take Abra. Rosalie and I moved quickly towards the docks, stumbling and tripping in the dusky light. It would be a while before the boat reached the docks, but we would be there to meet them.

I paced up and down the docks nervously, chewing on my thumbnail as I walked. How was I going to tell Edward he was a daddy? What if he wasn't even there? How would he react to my keeping my pregnancy a secret? What had kept them gone for a whole year instead of just two months?

I stopped pacing when the boat rounded the corner and I could see three figures on the deck. I grabbed Rosalie's hand as we scanned them, terrified. I couldn't tell at this distance who was who. We were all gaunt after years of undernourishment and hard work, so the men were hard to discern from each other when all we could see was a distant outline.

"Maybe someone's below," I whispered.

She nodded, squeezing my hand tightly. A hand lifted as the men on the boat saw us. We waved back excitedly.

"Is someone below?"

We turned and saw several others coming towards us. It looked like all the adults were here, Rachel staying behind to take care of the little ones.

"We don't know yet."

We all turned back to the boat and I screamed excitedly when I finally made out Edward's shock of crazy bronzy hair on the man at the front of the boat.

"Edward!" I shouted.

"Bella!" he shouted back. If the water was shallower, I had a feeling he'd jump in and swim to me. I definitely would if I could.

It took far too long for them to get close enough for him to safely disembark but when he did, I threw myself at him, wrapping my arms and legs around him as I burst into tears. I heard another set of feet hit the wooden dock and Rosalie's sobs as Emmett scooped her up.

"Who's lost?" I asked softly, pulling back and looking up at Edward.

"No one. Seth's below decks. We're all here."

"And? Europe?"

"They had some outbreaks, but nothing like here. They managed to contain it and only lost thousands as opposed to millions."

"So we can go there?"

He grinned and nodded. "Yeah. They're actually getting a larger boat together to come here for us."

"Thank God," I sobbed, pressing my face into his neck. He held me tightly and kissed my crown.

"Everything is fine, Bella, I swear. We can get really married now if you want, have a dozen babies, live in a real house with heat and hot water."

I laughed and looked up at him. "I have something to tell you."

"Ok." He raised his eyebrows at me expectantly. I could dimly hear movements behind me, unloading or something. I didn't really care.

"I was pregnant when you left. I'm sorry I didn't tell you but I just…I didn't know how and then you said you were going and I didn't want you to worry or resent me."

His eyes widened. "A baby?"

I shook my head. "No, twins. You have a son and a daughter."

He let out a whoop and spun me around to laughs from the others. "I love you, Bella."

I smiled and pulled his face to mine for a kiss. "I love you too, Edward."

By the time we made it back up to the house, Edward and the others had made the rounds, hugging and kissing everyone in turn. Edward always returned to me, crushing me against him and grinning stupidly as he picked up the pace, eager to see his children.

Watching them meet for the first time was…indescribable. Aron regarded his father solemnly while Abra immediately reached out and grabbed a fistful of hair. I almost lost my grip on her when she did that and Edward laughed, holding tightly to Aron and reaching for Abra, attempting to hold them both at the same time. It was awkward for anyone not used to it, but he seemed to do pretty well.

Over dinner, the sailors told us about their trip. They told us about the storms that blew them way off course, landing them in Spain of all places after over two months. They'd made their way to England after a while and had been put into quarantine, the Brits anxious about them carrying the infection. Once they were given a clean bill of health, they were released into the general population and made arrangements with the government to come and rescue us. There were other Americans who'd made it out ahead of the infection in various places around the world, most eager to get home and begin rebuilding.

It was well after dark, our meager supply of candles starting to sputter in their holders. The children were sleeping in the laps of their parents or other available adults. Edward was beaming down at Aron, fast asleep in the cradle of his father's arms.

"We should get to bed. If we're all going to England soon, we'll need to start packing up," Esme said finally, noticing the yawns of the older children struggling to stay awake to hear more stories.

We didn't disagree. I personally couldn't wait to have Edward to myself again. Sue winked at me and joined the older girls in their room so Edward and the twins and I had our tiny room to ourselves.

I sat on the bed, nursing each one in turn while Edward moved around the room, touching things as though to remind himself that he really was back. He held the other twin while I nursed.

"It feels like a dream," he said finally.

I laughed softly and adjusted my clothes, holding Abra at an angle to burp her. "I know what you mean."

"Did you really take down four zeds after giving birth?"

"Hey, it was us or them," I said defensively.

He grinned and held up a hand defensively as I set Abra into the makeshift bed we'd made for the twins. "I'm not saying I disapprove." I shot him a look and he laughed and handed me Aron. "Ok, fine, I do kind of disapprove. But at the same time, I'm impressed. I didn't realize you were so badass."

"Yeah, well, I am. You better watch out."

"I definitely will." He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder and looking down at the twins. They were sleeping peacefully. For now.

I twisted in his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him firmly. He pulled me closer to him, his hands palming my back as he slipped them under my shirt.

"You were gone a really long time."

"I know."

"Like, a _really_ long time."

"I know."

"And I was sharing a bed with Sue. It's been ages for me."

"Me too."

"It better have been."

He grinned. "You think I'd fess up to anything else knowing what I now know about your badassness?"

I laughed softly. "If I wasn't so horny right now, I might get upset about that."

"Frankly, the badassness is really a turn on."

"Good. You better not disappoint me tonight."

"Do you think that's even possible?" he grinned, lowering me onto the bed. We were both naked now, the cool breeze from the open window raising goosebumps on both our bodies.

"Not even a little bit." I shifted over and pulled him down. "I love you. I never stopped believing you'd come back."

"I love you too. And I never stopped trying."


	16. Chapter 16: Epilogue

Looking back, life in the BZ, Before Zeds, was easy. Sure, I thought I was tortured and had a really hard life, but it wasn't. I was safe, clean, surrounded by people who loved me, getting an education and not in constant fear for my life. Sure, there was the annoyance of younger siblings and parents who didn't understand and teachers who hated me and boys who were punks and girls who were bitches but still…it was easier.

Ok, so maybe not easier, but somewhat better. Dealing with zeds was pretty simple: they wanted to eat me and I didn't want to be eaten. It was, literally, eat or be eaten. And I learned to adapt quickly to that mindset. Swans were fighters, Dad had told me that many times. I knew it was true because the night I'd gone home and found them, the house had been trashed, showing that everyone had put up a serious effort, even the dog.

We spent a couple more weeks on the island getting everything ready while we waited for the Brits to show up. We released the remaining animals onto the mainland, hoping they'd survive. I was a little doubtful. I mean, how often do you hear of wild chickens and cows?

We loaded onto the small cruise ship that arrived, first all making our way back to the docks where it would be easier to board the ship. I was nervous the entire time we were on the docks, insisting that someone be on lookout. There weren't any zeds, so that was a relief, but I was still anxious until Edward and I were safely ensconced in a cabin with the twins. I stood on our little balcony, watching the island fade into the horizon as the boat rumbled towards Europe and safety. Edward stood behind me, his arms around my waist and his chin on my head.

"Think we'll ever come back?" I asked softly.

"Maybe someday. I'd still like to spend the night in the White House."

I laughed and looked up at him. "It's always sex with you isn't it?"

He laughed and shrugged. "Can you blame me?"

"Nah. I'd enjoy it just as much as you would, I'll bet."

"We could actually go up those stairs, too, instead of lying and telling people we did."

I grinned. "But the lie is half the fun."

"Sure it is." He kissed my nose and we turned to catch the last glimpse of the island sinking below the horizon, the apex of the hill where I'd spent so many hours watching and waiting dipping into the ocean. Edward pulled me back into the cabin then, closing the doors behind us.

It wasn't a long trip and we were soon in England and, apparently, media darlings. No one else had a story like we did and I was made out to be some kind of hero by the group, the telling of the twins' birth and my saving Emmett on the raid repeated fairly often. It got so I was just know as Zombie Killer Bella. Great.

We were all asked onto several different talk shows continent wide, traveling even into Russia to tell our stories. There weren't many Americans left, mostly those who'd been overseas when the infection hit. Canada had remained fairly infection free, the horrors of the US being enough of a warning for them to effectively quarantine and destroy the infected quickly. Even so, nearly half the country was wiped out. Mexico, Central and South America were just about as lucky. The closer a country was to America, the more likely it was severely decimated.

We were never able to settle completely into anonymity, but we were able to lead somewhat regular lives after a while. Well, as normal as could be. We were given assistance from the British government with housing and we all found jobs as quickly as we could. I went back to school and got an education, something I knew pleased Esme and Carlisle, even though they'd never dare voice that around me or Edward.

Edward decided to continue with his job as a newspaper reporter and found a job at a paper in Wales, so we settled happily there with the twins. I got a teaching certificate and had schools in our small town clambering to hire me, hoping for some prestige that I would bring. I only taught for a few years before quitting to raise the large family Edward and I decided to have.

After the twins, we had three more, two boys and another girl. Every one of them had a soft spot for animals and the five were constantly bringing home wounded birds and squirrels. Occasionally, we'd get a dog or a cat and NONE of them ever left. Well, a couple of squirrels might and the possum ran off as soon as its foot was healed, but mostly, they stayed. We finally bought a small estate outside of town and moved there with our menagerie.

Everyone settled in various parts of the world, though we all managed to get together about once a year for a reunion. We typically gathered in London, since most of us were still in the UK, but a few times we went to other places: Australia, Egypt, Italy, Spain. I loved everywhere we went, recognizing the fact that if we hadn't had the infection, I'd likely be back home in Texas, working some dead end job and with a couple of kids and no dad. It was the track my life had been on before, anyway.

When Sue died, we all went back to the island to bury her beside Harry. The younger kids vaguely remembered the island and we spent a few days there, walking around and looking at the buildings and cultivation we'd done that had gone to seed.

We ventured out into the mainland, exploring our homeland. There was no evidence of people anywhere, a sad fact we all had to face. Edward and I finally got our night in the White House and we did go up the steps. There was photographic evidence. Aron and Abra were embarrassed beyond words and no one else really got why we were laughing so hard, but we didn't care.

Once the country had been deemed safe and infection free, people from all over poured into the country, eager to repair and replace the burnt out buildings and restore the wild land. Once again, America was the great adventure the world wanted. Edward and I visited occasionally, taking the kids and showing them the places we'd lived and traveled, showing them the artifacts and monuments that had survived. It wasn't too terribly interesting to them then to see overgrown areas and dusty items, but I knew when they got older, they'd appreciate it more. I certainly did.

The one thing that slightly bugged Edward about our life was my refusal to marry him. We were committed, we loved each other, we had five kids and a zoo at home. He'd broken his promise not to go to England so I felt it was fair that I not marry him. No one else really seemed to mind since, in the Islanders' eyes, we were married. Really, he was the only one who cared.

We never heard of any more zombies anywhere, and no one really knew where they came from or how the infection started. Probably some idiot doctor somewhere messing with shit he shouldn't have. We heard a rumor the year after we were rescued about zombies being sighted by a low-flying plane in the Amazonian jungle, but the report said they were fighting off the piranhas. Zombies getting eaten: seemed fair to me. At least they never came back anywhere with any real strength and eventually, the small outbreaks in the Americas were fully squelched.

It had been 20 years since our rescue. Edward's hair had gone gracefully gray, making him look distinguished and more gorgeous than before, if possible. I passed him a beer and settled onto the arm of his chair, studying the words on the screen of his computer.

"What are you writing?" I asked, running my fingers through his still thick hair.

"I'm writing our story, the road trip and the years on the island, all of it."

I nodded and leaned forward, skimming a couple of lines. "Do you have a book deal?"

He laughed. "Are you kidding me? Of course I do. Movie rights even."

I pushed his head lightly and he laughed. "You know when we finally get our story written, people will be dying for it. You could write yours."

"I could," I mused, scanning the screen still.

He nuzzled his nose into my neck, breathing in deeply. "You smell good."

I laughed. "It's my own personal scent. I call it Eau du Farm."

He laughed and pulled me down into his lap, kissing me. "You know, all the kids are out."

"Yeah, I know."

"We could…you know."

I grinned and smoothed his hair. "I was actually hoping we could talk about a couple things."

"Like what?"

"Well, for one thing, Abra and Damon."

"Damon?"

I nodded. "I think they're getting pretty serious."

His body stiffened under mine. "How serious?"

"Marriage."

"Oh."

I studied his face. "How does that make you feel?"

"She's only 20."

"So? I was 20 when she was born."

He scowled. "You had a shit load of life experience, babe."

"True, but she has us."

"Yeah." He was quiet for a moment. "So do we hate Damon or what?"

I laughed. "No, he's actually a pretty sweet guy. I think they'll be good together."

"So what's to talk about then?"

I smiled at him. "I think we should set a good example for them."

"As in…?"

"As in…Edward, will you marry me?"

His jaw dropped. "I already asked that question years ago and you said yes. We're _already_ engaged."

"Ok fine. Edward, will you marry me this summer?"

He grinned. "Fuck yes." He pulled me closer and kissed me hard. "On one condition."

I groaned. "That didn't work out so well last time."

He chuckled. "No, it didn't, but I think you'll like this one."

"Ok, what is it?"

He studied me for a long moment. "Write your story. People want to read it."

I smiled and kissed him lightly. "Deal."

So, here I sit, writing my story so that the love of my life will marry me. He's waiting outside the door, insistent that he see the last chapter, the epilogue, before we walk down the aisle with our family and friends waiting and watching. I'm sad that my parents and siblings and everyone I grew up with are gone but, in a way, they're always with me. My dad taught me how to swing a bat, a fact that saved my life and the lives of my children. My mother taught me how to garden and tend to children. My friends taught me that real friends will always be with you and never desert you and that it is worth getting to know people.

I hope you've enjoyed this story and reading about our struggles and triumphs. For now, I've got to go. My husband is waiting for me, and he's already waited long enough.


End file.
